"You must have Absolute Monarchy over your inner world," someone said to me recently.
When the King doesn't know he's the King, doesn't sit powerfully in the seat, the role, of the King, he won't be King for long. You and I are have been wandering through this life, mostly deluded into believing something is missing, wrong, not quite ready, almost there...about ourselves! And the Truth of the matter is we are Whole, Perfect, Complete...what in Sanskrit is referred to as Purna.
There is a beautiful prayer/mantra in the Upanishads that is said to encapusulate the whole of the Upanishads. (The Upanishads have exerted an important influence on the rest of Hindu philosophy and were collectively considered one of the 100 Most Influential Books Ever Written by the British poet Martin Seymour-Smith (Wikipedia, 11/09).) In this prayer it is said,
Om. That is Perfect. This is Perfect. From the
Perfect springs the Perfect. If the perfect is
taken from the Perfect, the Perfect remains.
Like that little boy in "The Matrix" in the scene just before Neo goes in to meet with the Oracle hoping to find out he is. This monk-ish little boy, wrapped in white, playing at bending spoons with just the power of his Awareness, tells Neo, "It is not the spoon that bends, it is your mind that bends" (giving the 'appearance' that the spoon has bent).
The ancient philosophy of Vedanta encourages us to see Truly. And that to cultivate the ability to see Reality as It is, we need the support of discrimination; the ability to know the difference between fantasy and Reality, between projection/illusion and things as they really are. If you're walking down a dirt road in the middle of the night in Costa Rica, and up ahead you see something long, thick, and curvy laying across the middle of the road, it may be a snake...or a rope. Whichever you believe it is in the moment will determine whether your heart nearly thumps out of your ribcage believing it to be a dangerous snake, or you go on enjoying a peaceful walk as you step over the rope.
How many situations have I walked through in my life, attempting to rearrange the situation rather than my own point of view? The Buddhists call this act rearranging the furniture in a burning house. And another teacher laughs when he calls this way of walking through life, rearranging the deck-chairs on the Titanic.
Swami Muktananda of Ganeshpuri would say often, "The world is as you see it. If you don't like the world you see, change the prescription of your glasses."
We live in a time when so many of the greatest and most potent of teachings once passed from teacher to student in secret after many years of preparation are now out strewn out in books and youtube videos for anyone to find. How will we recognize these Diamond-sharp tools? Will we, and do we, mistake them for blunt, useless instruments?
I can have the best vegetable seeds on the market, harvested from plants grown with great attention and love in idyllic conditions on the most Organic farm known to man (I'm salivating...ha ha ha!). I can plant those seeds in my roof garden today. But if the soil hasn't been nurtured, and if I don't water and care for those seeds consistently over time, it won't matter how amazing the promise of great plants might be, nothing is going to grow in those conditions.
I came across some of the most potent teachings of my life over twenty years ago, but didn't recognize them. I was too busy hunting for anything that would give me a big peak experience. In my book it was all about gathering enough of these peak experiences, out-of-body moments, and overwhelming energy encounters, and amassing a lot of them. Then if I could string them all together, I could live in one big extended peak experience for life. So tell me, how is that any different that any other kind of addict? Seeking a peak experience from a bottle, a pill, a whatever? The only difference being that my addiction was legal and encouraged widely in the spiritual marketplace.
After years of this cat and mouse game with myself, I'm now (mostly) at the place where I know that biggest focus of my path is inside of me, if not the only useful focus. What am I believing? Can I know it's the Truth for certain? What happens when I believe "x"? What's here when I let go of all beliefs and sit quietly in gratitude and appreciation of this Moment exactly as it is, without a story or narration going in the background...just this moment, this inhalation, exactly as it is...not a good inhalation, not a bad inhalation, just the breath circulating.
And in this moment of just simple awareness of my own breath, I am present. When I am present, this Presence burns off the image of dark threatening clouds, revealing the Sun always steadily shining within.
Do I really need one more book? One more lecture? One more technique? Or do I have everything I need right Here? Am I willing to cultivate this garden over time, protecting the little Oak Tree shoots until they're strong and tall with deep roots, and broad leaves that give shade to anyone who's ready to rest in the Oasis of Reality?
I Am.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Do You Ever...
Do you ever wonder? Really wonder?
I don't remember a time when I didn't. This kind of curiosity has been the consistent nudge from the Universe that's kept me discovering over and over again new territory outside the confines of what I've already known. It's given me leverage to let go of the familiar and stay engaged with the adventure that is my life.
I remember driving with my Mom in the passenger seat on Sunset Boulevard one stunning sunny afternoon as she turned to me and said, "You're not really a rule-follower, are you?"
"No," I managed to get out through an explosion of laughter, "I'm not."
It's not that I disregard structure, guidelines, rules, and laws. I refuse to be defined by the seeming known. I've always sensed, as far back as I can remember, that there is more to life than what my five senses, the traditional education system, and the media have attempted to condition me with through my intellect.
This natural wonder, curiosity, and reaching through the Unknown...I can't imagine living any other way. Every time I start to get locked into a point of view these days, as my body contracts into position with it, something in me pokes me in the ribs and says, "Wake up...this isn't freedom...look again...let go of trying to control this."
I don't remember a time when I didn't. This kind of curiosity has been the consistent nudge from the Universe that's kept me discovering over and over again new territory outside the confines of what I've already known. It's given me leverage to let go of the familiar and stay engaged with the adventure that is my life.
I remember driving with my Mom in the passenger seat on Sunset Boulevard one stunning sunny afternoon as she turned to me and said, "You're not really a rule-follower, are you?"
"No," I managed to get out through an explosion of laughter, "I'm not."
It's not that I disregard structure, guidelines, rules, and laws. I refuse to be defined by the seeming known. I've always sensed, as far back as I can remember, that there is more to life than what my five senses, the traditional education system, and the media have attempted to condition me with through my intellect.
This natural wonder, curiosity, and reaching through the Unknown...I can't imagine living any other way. Every time I start to get locked into a point of view these days, as my body contracts into position with it, something in me pokes me in the ribs and says, "Wake up...this isn't freedom...look again...let go of trying to control this."
Friday, November 20, 2009
Starting at the Beginning...
I have been challenged by money in my life. I'm the only one, right? Ha ha ha! The flow of abundance (or not) weighs on nearly 99% of the people I know. And so many of us have avoided really looking at it, for fear that looking at it might conjure a nasty beast whose only interest is to consume us into non-existence, or worse yet, prolonged suffering. Yet avoiding this area is actually what's prolonging the suffering.
The flow, or lack thereof of money, at any given time, has historically held more weight over my self-opinion than the Truth of who and what I am. Over time, this has shifted, and in particular over the last few months of working with the principles in my friend and mentor, David Elliott's, new book HEALING. And there's still tremendous room for me to grow and develop in this area.
I've been revisiting beginnings. If it's true what David has said, "The approach determines the landing," then paging back through time to my beginnings in the areas of my life that are important to me now has given and will continue to open rich veins of insight into how things are playing out, and how to work with them differently.
However, if I'm not clear about how I got where I am, then I'm fairly likely to repeat the past.
The source of any and all of it, will continue to come back to my relationship with myself. My relationship with all of life is a perfect mirror of my relationship with all the aspects of myself. As I study myself, a sacred merger can happen and I become intimate with all of life. As I avoid myself, I become alienated from all of life. It's that simple.
I'm starting today with educating myself on the origins of money in a book by the same name, ON THE ORIGINS OF MONEY published in 1892 by Carl Menger.
As I bring myself up to speed on the beginnings of money, I'm simultaneously bringing myself up close and personal on my relationship with money by revisiting with fresh eyes, my beginnings with money and exchange.
May my studies be fully guided by Living Wisdom that has been purified by the sacred fire of Truth, Wisdom that goes far beyond intellect and words, and through its clarity, hones, sharpens, and aligns all my thoughts, feelings, and actions with Truth.
On the heels of writing all of that, this came in through Intuition, loud and clear:
You are endeavoring to master 'perception', namely your own. As you Master perception you can alter the perceived value of any goods or services with which you are involved, and lift exchange to its rightful place as a Sacred Act; that is an act which is fully aligned with the Truth of Spirit, the Truth of Reality.
The flow, or lack thereof of money, at any given time, has historically held more weight over my self-opinion than the Truth of who and what I am. Over time, this has shifted, and in particular over the last few months of working with the principles in my friend and mentor, David Elliott's, new book HEALING. And there's still tremendous room for me to grow and develop in this area.
I've been revisiting beginnings. If it's true what David has said, "The approach determines the landing," then paging back through time to my beginnings in the areas of my life that are important to me now has given and will continue to open rich veins of insight into how things are playing out, and how to work with them differently.
However, if I'm not clear about how I got where I am, then I'm fairly likely to repeat the past.
The source of any and all of it, will continue to come back to my relationship with myself. My relationship with all of life is a perfect mirror of my relationship with all the aspects of myself. As I study myself, a sacred merger can happen and I become intimate with all of life. As I avoid myself, I become alienated from all of life. It's that simple.
I'm starting today with educating myself on the origins of money in a book by the same name, ON THE ORIGINS OF MONEY published in 1892 by Carl Menger.
As I bring myself up to speed on the beginnings of money, I'm simultaneously bringing myself up close and personal on my relationship with money by revisiting with fresh eyes, my beginnings with money and exchange.
May my studies be fully guided by Living Wisdom that has been purified by the sacred fire of Truth, Wisdom that goes far beyond intellect and words, and through its clarity, hones, sharpens, and aligns all my thoughts, feelings, and actions with Truth.
On the heels of writing all of that, this came in through Intuition, loud and clear:
You are endeavoring to master 'perception', namely your own. As you Master perception you can alter the perceived value of any goods or services with which you are involved, and lift exchange to its rightful place as a Sacred Act; that is an act which is fully aligned with the Truth of Spirit, the Truth of Reality.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Heart of Compassion...
This morning, actually, just a few minutes ago, I opened an email from an Aunt of mine on the heels of listening for what I might write about today. The email is a series of pictures of Americans serving in the Armed Forces over in the Middle East with captions like: When a soldier comes home, he finds it hard to...followed by hearing people complaining about what seem like everyday annoyances to the average working American...like getting a bad night's sleep, or potholes, etc.
What touches me more than anything about this email, and has been speaking to me for some time now, is the degree of alienation these men and women experience upon returning to this country from an experience so foreign to most if not all of the people they know. An experience so outside the box of what's considered normal, and so grotesque, so filled with the things that most of us only see in movies or nightmares.
What touches me about all of this, is that place in so many of us that feels separate. That place separation can spawn so much suffering, and seeming coping behaviors that only serve to deepen the feelings of separation and aloneness that intensify insecurity and grief.
What will we do about this? Are we willing to look at it? Are we willing to look at the places of insecurity and separation within and heal them? Can working with these places inside of ourselves make a difference in the lives of the people around us? Can this inner work help people to heal just through our mere presence?
Yes...in my experience, a deep resounding YES!
A healer is someone who is willing to do the work of Loving him or herself in the presence of anyone and everyone. This Self-Love ripples out in all directions without the need for words, and infuses all words. It ricochets through my lineage setting my ancestors free as I find my own freedom through Self-Love.
No matter the feelings I or you have about war, government, politics, and international relations. Behind all the rhetoric are men and women with Hearts. Some confused. Some not so confused. And all with Hearts; Hearts that feel, that ache for Love, that long for connection, to feel seen and heard, and known.
Will you give that gift today?
Will you Love yourself in the presence of someone who's driving funky in front of you, rather than jump to judgment, irritation, and anger?
Will you Love yourself in the presence of your own illusory insecurities?
Will you forgive me for not always meeting your needs?
Will you forgive You for not always meeting your needs?
Love, real abiding Love, starting with the discipline of Self-Love is the Philosopher's Stone that can and will turn any base feelings and experiences into the Gold of Freedom.
In the words of an old friend and mentor, John King, "I Love you, and you don't have a vote in it!"
What touches me more than anything about this email, and has been speaking to me for some time now, is the degree of alienation these men and women experience upon returning to this country from an experience so foreign to most if not all of the people they know. An experience so outside the box of what's considered normal, and so grotesque, so filled with the things that most of us only see in movies or nightmares.
What touches me about all of this, is that place in so many of us that feels separate. That place separation can spawn so much suffering, and seeming coping behaviors that only serve to deepen the feelings of separation and aloneness that intensify insecurity and grief.
What will we do about this? Are we willing to look at it? Are we willing to look at the places of insecurity and separation within and heal them? Can working with these places inside of ourselves make a difference in the lives of the people around us? Can this inner work help people to heal just through our mere presence?
Yes...in my experience, a deep resounding YES!
A healer is someone who is willing to do the work of Loving him or herself in the presence of anyone and everyone. This Self-Love ripples out in all directions without the need for words, and infuses all words. It ricochets through my lineage setting my ancestors free as I find my own freedom through Self-Love.
No matter the feelings I or you have about war, government, politics, and international relations. Behind all the rhetoric are men and women with Hearts. Some confused. Some not so confused. And all with Hearts; Hearts that feel, that ache for Love, that long for connection, to feel seen and heard, and known.
Will you give that gift today?
Will you Love yourself in the presence of someone who's driving funky in front of you, rather than jump to judgment, irritation, and anger?
Will you Love yourself in the presence of your own illusory insecurities?
Will you forgive me for not always meeting your needs?
Will you forgive You for not always meeting your needs?
Love, real abiding Love, starting with the discipline of Self-Love is the Philosopher's Stone that can and will turn any base feelings and experiences into the Gold of Freedom.
In the words of an old friend and mentor, John King, "I Love you, and you don't have a vote in it!"
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The Seer and the Scene...
For some, this kind of micro-awareness might smack of a kind of teeth-grinding effort to split hairs. For those who've been getting tired of the the roller-coaster ride of of living only for the senses, this might be a HUGE breath of fresh air. For me? This way of 'practicing' is my life...more of the time than not....except when I "forget".
There are some rich veins of Gold with powerful teachings that on the outset could seem either uber basic, or impenetrable. Patanjali's Yoga Sutras is no exception. Somewhere around the 2nd Century BC, a Sage/Saint by the name of Patanjali composed his famous YOGA SUTRAS as a guide to taking each of those single steps towards Freedom that draw Infinite Grace to You.
Vritti-sarupyam-itaratra
In other states [when the mind is not established in its essential nature], the seer appears the same as the thought waves in the mind. (Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, Book 1, Sutra 4...translation by Baba Hari Dass)
Whatever I focus on, becomes my experience. Said another way, "Where Awareness Goes, Energy Flows" (a saying made popular in the '70s and highlighted frequently by my friend and mentor David Elliott).
I live in a place (Los Angeles) that for most of the world is one big "scene". And what scene you move in here can seem to determine your social status. Or can it?
Are you and I cemented into a specific caste, wherever in the world we live?
Are our friends, jobs, relationships, preferences, and aversions all set in stone? Are we stuck with our current experience of ourselves and life until or if some "magical being" appears from thin air to change it for us?
Or...
Is the golden key to what to some may seem like a prison-cell of a life in our side pocket?
In my experience, that key has been with me all along. No one else has the key to my reality. No one else has the answer for me. Other people can have juicy information, but if I don't digest it and live it, it's just more information to gather dust on my already crowded bookshelves.
Digestion. What are you digesting? What are you not digesting? Any life-experiences that I haven't yet digested (ie; ones that still leave me with a 'bad taste in my mouth') continue to circulate through my thoughts, emotions, and body sensations, influencing how I see, hear, and experience the world around me, as well as shaping my inner experience of myself.
Oh ~ and it's not just the experiences that left a seeming 'bad taste' that stick around and mold my awareness, it's also the times and places when/where I experienced something great, and believed that someone or something outside of me was the cause, and have gone forward trying to re-create the same or similar situations so that I can hope to re-experience the same good feelings again and again.
However, the thing I missed seeing was and is the key ingredient. And that's what I feel Patanjali is cool enough to point out in this sutra ~ how I show up determines my experience, not what's happening.
What do I mean by "how I show up"?
Where I place my attention determines how I experience not only anything, but everything.
And there really is a kind of "inner musculature". Just like building specific muscles through consistent effort for something like rock-climbing, I can build the inner muscles for being able to choose where I put my attention.
For example (and I'm sure I'm the only one....ha ha), I have thoughts come up in my mind about other drivers that aren't always kind or uplifting (major understatement). When I believe these thoughts, my adrenaline pumps through my body getting me ready for fight or flight, more similar thoughts gather with the energy of "attack", and I'm no longer clear and present; I'm in reaction-mode.
I know I have a choice now. I can notice the initial thoughts that want to judge the person in front of me for pulling into my lane without using a turn-signal. I know that if I believe the judging attack-thoughts, my body will contract, and it won't feel good at all. There may be an adrenaline spike, which can be a bit intoxicating, but it doesn't feel like expansion or Love at all.
The attack thoughts only arise to protect me, in some sort of animal-like way. However, if I relax, let the attack thoughts pass, breathe, let my foot off the accelerator, I'm safe, and in no need of protecting, and in no need of attacking anything. When I believe the attack-thoughts, I become an attacker, and my reality becomes one of war of sorts.
As far as I can recollect, I never put images of war on my vision board as something to aspire to.
It's not my job to teach people how to drive. My job is healing. I'm a healer. And more and more often, I'm reminded that I'm a healer all of the time...not just when I'm teaching. When I focus on neutrality, when I focus on Self-Love, I can be a healing influence in any environment. When I allow myself to open, trust, connect with Self-Love, and let the healing expand, guess what comes into my life? People and experiences that reflect back to me where I am...in a place of Love.
So this entry reaches back a few posts to where I'm working with discipline...I'm choosing to be a disciple of Love. Choosing Love as my experience and expression is my discipline...is not only my spiritual practice, but my practice for a life that flows! May we both always be reminded of Love as the option of choice...
There are some rich veins of Gold with powerful teachings that on the outset could seem either uber basic, or impenetrable. Patanjali's Yoga Sutras is no exception. Somewhere around the 2nd Century BC, a Sage/Saint by the name of Patanjali composed his famous YOGA SUTRAS as a guide to taking each of those single steps towards Freedom that draw Infinite Grace to You.
Vritti-sarupyam-itaratra
In other states [when the mind is not established in its essential nature], the seer appears the same as the thought waves in the mind. (Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, Book 1, Sutra 4...translation by Baba Hari Dass)
Whatever I focus on, becomes my experience. Said another way, "Where Awareness Goes, Energy Flows" (a saying made popular in the '70s and highlighted frequently by my friend and mentor David Elliott).
I live in a place (Los Angeles) that for most of the world is one big "scene". And what scene you move in here can seem to determine your social status. Or can it?
Are you and I cemented into a specific caste, wherever in the world we live?
Are our friends, jobs, relationships, preferences, and aversions all set in stone? Are we stuck with our current experience of ourselves and life until or if some "magical being" appears from thin air to change it for us?
Or...
Is the golden key to what to some may seem like a prison-cell of a life in our side pocket?
In my experience, that key has been with me all along. No one else has the key to my reality. No one else has the answer for me. Other people can have juicy information, but if I don't digest it and live it, it's just more information to gather dust on my already crowded bookshelves.
Digestion. What are you digesting? What are you not digesting? Any life-experiences that I haven't yet digested (ie; ones that still leave me with a 'bad taste in my mouth') continue to circulate through my thoughts, emotions, and body sensations, influencing how I see, hear, and experience the world around me, as well as shaping my inner experience of myself.
Oh ~ and it's not just the experiences that left a seeming 'bad taste' that stick around and mold my awareness, it's also the times and places when/where I experienced something great, and believed that someone or something outside of me was the cause, and have gone forward trying to re-create the same or similar situations so that I can hope to re-experience the same good feelings again and again.
However, the thing I missed seeing was and is the key ingredient. And that's what I feel Patanjali is cool enough to point out in this sutra ~ how I show up determines my experience, not what's happening.
What do I mean by "how I show up"?
Where I place my attention determines how I experience not only anything, but everything.
And there really is a kind of "inner musculature". Just like building specific muscles through consistent effort for something like rock-climbing, I can build the inner muscles for being able to choose where I put my attention.
For example (and I'm sure I'm the only one....ha ha), I have thoughts come up in my mind about other drivers that aren't always kind or uplifting (major understatement). When I believe these thoughts, my adrenaline pumps through my body getting me ready for fight or flight, more similar thoughts gather with the energy of "attack", and I'm no longer clear and present; I'm in reaction-mode.
I know I have a choice now. I can notice the initial thoughts that want to judge the person in front of me for pulling into my lane without using a turn-signal. I know that if I believe the judging attack-thoughts, my body will contract, and it won't feel good at all. There may be an adrenaline spike, which can be a bit intoxicating, but it doesn't feel like expansion or Love at all.
The attack thoughts only arise to protect me, in some sort of animal-like way. However, if I relax, let the attack thoughts pass, breathe, let my foot off the accelerator, I'm safe, and in no need of protecting, and in no need of attacking anything. When I believe the attack-thoughts, I become an attacker, and my reality becomes one of war of sorts.
As far as I can recollect, I never put images of war on my vision board as something to aspire to.
It's not my job to teach people how to drive. My job is healing. I'm a healer. And more and more often, I'm reminded that I'm a healer all of the time...not just when I'm teaching. When I focus on neutrality, when I focus on Self-Love, I can be a healing influence in any environment. When I allow myself to open, trust, connect with Self-Love, and let the healing expand, guess what comes into my life? People and experiences that reflect back to me where I am...in a place of Love.
So this entry reaches back a few posts to where I'm working with discipline...I'm choosing to be a disciple of Love. Choosing Love as my experience and expression is my discipline...is not only my spiritual practice, but my practice for a life that flows! May we both always be reminded of Love as the option of choice...
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
It's time to go deeper...
'It's time to go deeper into the Work,' said the voice, as I was adding hot water to my morning tea just now.
In times past, sentences like those were grand pronouncements coming right out of my ego's need for more adrenaline spikes of excitement...and increasing my perceived value in the marketplace. This morning, it comes in as a form of guidance for my choices into this next leg of my walk as a man on the path.
I had a fortunate meeting on a recent work trip to NYC with the mystic Hugo Cory from the Gurdjieff tradition. A simple man (and I say that as a high high compliment), he is deeply at home with himself. One of the first questions he had for me was about my travel schedule.
"Why all of this travelling?" he said, "Don't they have people in Los Angeles?"
"You're using up a lot of your energy with all of this traveling, and avoiding yourself. Stay in one place for a while and see what that brings up. I'm not saying don't travel, just think about doing it less and see what happens."
I had immediate and visceral resistance to his suggestion. A whole family of "but's" started shrieking in my mind; all the reasons why I had to travel, must travel, should travel.
Cut to a couple of months later here in Los Angeles on a morning very similar (albeit warmer) to this one. I had the thought that two months had nearly passed since my last NYC trip with the Work, and that according to my normal schedule, I was due to make a trip.
Yet, when I checked in with it intuitively, I felt a very clear and strong encouragement to stay put...until advised otherwise. And while a part of me (the one that thinks it's protecting me by worrying) got a little nervous, it felt like true and solid guidance. My body responded with a gentle pronounced "hum".
As more time continues to pass without traveling, I'm finding myself becoming clearer and more focused on letting the Work develop and flower within, around, and through me. I had no idea, and still am gathering intel about, how much energy I was expending making the travel plans, coordinating venues and workshops, and promoting the events and sessions.
At this point, there are a handful of new healers who've gone through all four of the Healer Trainings in New York City and San Francisco (the cities I travelled to the most) actively making the Work available in those cities. I can be an active support to them, encouraging them to step up, and share the Work from here in Los Angeles. I will continue to travel, but the timeline and form that travel takes from here on out is likely to look and feel quite different.
It's time to go deeper...
The dance between running a business and being a conduit for Spirit inside of that business more often than not can feel like a high-wire act, and the training for that dance on the tight-rope is on-the-job. The wings of support for balance are Trust and Faith. The roots of support for grounding are Integrity and Impeccability. The catalyst clarity comes through Active Attunement to Truth, among other things. And that Active Attunement to Truth is what I'm being called to develop and deepen within right now.
The Attunement comes through many different channels, and none is the right, the better, or the only way. If ideas like right, better, or only, arise in my space, they're generally in sniffing distance from some sort of fear or anxiety about the future inside of a paradigm of being in this all by myself. And that whole combo is one of the hot steaming turds the ego lays on the sidewalk from time to time. If I'm not paying attention, I can walk right into it.
Attunement is how I cultivate Attention. My Attention is the only thing I really own, so-to-speak. It's the one thing I seem to have choice around, and the more I exercise that choice in positive, uplifting ways, the stronger the muscles get for choosing Freedom.
Spending more time at home, here in Los Angeles is giving me a tremendous amount of space in my awareness. It's giving me time to cultivate other aspects of my life as expressions of the Work, expressions of happiness...like caring for my roof-garden, exploring past the familiar experience of how I can develop my body's strength, agility, and fitness, discovering rich new friendships, and sitting quietly in the ocean of my own breath.
The hurry seems to be unwinding out of my body, nervous system, and agenda.
I'm fascinated to wake up each day and see what the Universe is going to bring into my life. I've found myself saying more than once lately, "I bet the Universe has a far better idea of the best possible life for me than I do. If I just relax, open my breath, and pay attention with an open Heart, everything I need comes to me."
I still set intentions. I still take action. Along the way, I'm remembering, and taking more time to check in, slow down internally, invoke gratitude for all the elements behind bringing things my way (like everything/everyone it takes to get a salad from seeds to growth to my bowl, for example), and above all else, to keep connecting ever deeper with Self-Love.
Oh, and if for some reason this sounds like easin' on down the yellow brick road, there are times when it does feel that way, and there are plenty of moments where it feels like the high-wire act has been raised even higher into the air. And these moments are the ones where I'm letting myself get excited rather than go into a white-knuckle grip on life for some illusionary sense of control.
It's time to go deeper into the Work
In times past, sentences like those were grand pronouncements coming right out of my ego's need for more adrenaline spikes of excitement...and increasing my perceived value in the marketplace. This morning, it comes in as a form of guidance for my choices into this next leg of my walk as a man on the path.
I had a fortunate meeting on a recent work trip to NYC with the mystic Hugo Cory from the Gurdjieff tradition. A simple man (and I say that as a high high compliment), he is deeply at home with himself. One of the first questions he had for me was about my travel schedule.
"Why all of this travelling?" he said, "Don't they have people in Los Angeles?"
"You're using up a lot of your energy with all of this traveling, and avoiding yourself. Stay in one place for a while and see what that brings up. I'm not saying don't travel, just think about doing it less and see what happens."
I had immediate and visceral resistance to his suggestion. A whole family of "but's" started shrieking in my mind; all the reasons why I had to travel, must travel, should travel.
Cut to a couple of months later here in Los Angeles on a morning very similar (albeit warmer) to this one. I had the thought that two months had nearly passed since my last NYC trip with the Work, and that according to my normal schedule, I was due to make a trip.
Yet, when I checked in with it intuitively, I felt a very clear and strong encouragement to stay put...until advised otherwise. And while a part of me (the one that thinks it's protecting me by worrying) got a little nervous, it felt like true and solid guidance. My body responded with a gentle pronounced "hum".
As more time continues to pass without traveling, I'm finding myself becoming clearer and more focused on letting the Work develop and flower within, around, and through me. I had no idea, and still am gathering intel about, how much energy I was expending making the travel plans, coordinating venues and workshops, and promoting the events and sessions.
At this point, there are a handful of new healers who've gone through all four of the Healer Trainings in New York City and San Francisco (the cities I travelled to the most) actively making the Work available in those cities. I can be an active support to them, encouraging them to step up, and share the Work from here in Los Angeles. I will continue to travel, but the timeline and form that travel takes from here on out is likely to look and feel quite different.
It's time to go deeper...
The dance between running a business and being a conduit for Spirit inside of that business more often than not can feel like a high-wire act, and the training for that dance on the tight-rope is on-the-job. The wings of support for balance are Trust and Faith. The roots of support for grounding are Integrity and Impeccability. The catalyst clarity comes through Active Attunement to Truth, among other things. And that Active Attunement to Truth is what I'm being called to develop and deepen within right now.
The Attunement comes through many different channels, and none is the right, the better, or the only way. If ideas like right, better, or only, arise in my space, they're generally in sniffing distance from some sort of fear or anxiety about the future inside of a paradigm of being in this all by myself. And that whole combo is one of the hot steaming turds the ego lays on the sidewalk from time to time. If I'm not paying attention, I can walk right into it.
Attunement is how I cultivate Attention. My Attention is the only thing I really own, so-to-speak. It's the one thing I seem to have choice around, and the more I exercise that choice in positive, uplifting ways, the stronger the muscles get for choosing Freedom.
Spending more time at home, here in Los Angeles is giving me a tremendous amount of space in my awareness. It's giving me time to cultivate other aspects of my life as expressions of the Work, expressions of happiness...like caring for my roof-garden, exploring past the familiar experience of how I can develop my body's strength, agility, and fitness, discovering rich new friendships, and sitting quietly in the ocean of my own breath.
The hurry seems to be unwinding out of my body, nervous system, and agenda.
I'm fascinated to wake up each day and see what the Universe is going to bring into my life. I've found myself saying more than once lately, "I bet the Universe has a far better idea of the best possible life for me than I do. If I just relax, open my breath, and pay attention with an open Heart, everything I need comes to me."
I still set intentions. I still take action. Along the way, I'm remembering, and taking more time to check in, slow down internally, invoke gratitude for all the elements behind bringing things my way (like everything/everyone it takes to get a salad from seeds to growth to my bowl, for example), and above all else, to keep connecting ever deeper with Self-Love.
Oh, and if for some reason this sounds like easin' on down the yellow brick road, there are times when it does feel that way, and there are plenty of moments where it feels like the high-wire act has been raised even higher into the air. And these moments are the ones where I'm letting myself get excited rather than go into a white-knuckle grip on life for some illusionary sense of control.
It's time to go deeper into the Work
Monday, November 16, 2009
Express Train to Freedom - Friday 11/20 8-9:30pm
Self-Love ~ Express Train to Freedom
This Friday night, November 20th I’ll be leading the weekly breathwork session at The Hub in West LA. This evening is for all levels of experience with the breath.
Mark your calendars! This Friday, November 20th 8-9:30pm at The Hub with special guest, singer-songwriter Rob MacMullan. Rob’s music has been known near and far to open hearts, and his live music during this workshop will be no exception...
This Friday night, November 20th I’ll be leading the weekly breathwork session at The Hub in West LA. This evening is for all levels of experience with the breath.
Mark your calendars! This Friday, November 20th 8-9:30pm at The Hub with special guest, singer-songwriter Rob MacMullan. Rob’s music has been known near and far to open hearts, and his live music during this workshop will be no exception...
When: FRIDAY night 11/20/09 8-9:30pm
((Arrive early to avoid being late))
Exchange: $25
Where: The Hub (http://thehub-la.com)
2001 S Barrington Ave, Suite 150, Los Angeles, CA 90025-5363 US
{ S Barrington Ave between LaGrange and Mississippi }
Entrance for the Hub is located on street level at the ground floor of the
parking structure located on South Barrington Avenue.
Bring: Yoga mat and/or blanket-we'll be sitting on the floor at first then lying down
for the breathwork.
RSVP: You can reserve your spot through The Hub 310-575-4200
Love,
Scott
http://trustthebreath.com
http://scottschwenk.blogspot.com
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