Insecurity is an Evolutionary Force

Has it yet become obvious that dealing with waves of insecurity is natural to human life? 

From one perspective, insecurity is a powerful evolutionary force in a human.  The discomfort of insecurity, used with awareness, forces seeking clarity, stimulates the search for freedom. 

After enough attempts to change physical reality, only to still be faced with more waves of unsettling not-knowing, a larger question looms:  Why are we so awkward with not knowing, not being in control of all of the forces of life?  It's an aspect of fear.  Fear of what?  If we’re going to bother to animate fear, to actively give energy to fear and thoughts of fear, we might as well be crystal clear on what it is we’re indeed afraid of. 

Say you’re afraid there’s a boogey monster in the closet.  Do you know for certain that one is there?  One either is or is not crouched in there.  Why not find out?  If there really is someone lurking in the closet, there are things that can be done.  If it’s just the product of imagination, opening the door and looking is a common sense action to move on and reclaim the wasted energy of pointless worry.

So the question remains, are the fears that are claiming dominion over your personal energy, your creative thinking power, and your freedom rightly justified by circumstances, or simply made up?

Insecurity rightly studied reveals illusion in each and every case.  This doesn’t imply that having insecurity makes one less of a person in any way, shape, or form.  It merely points at the places where one isn’t yet consciously embodying the true Wholeness.

The Saints, Sages, and Siddhas have said, and continue to say in so many ways, “You are Whole, you are complete, you are One with your Creator.  Wake up.  See the Truth.”

Insecurity is gift to let you and I know very precisely where this embodiment of Wholeness needs exacting and focused attention through Living Practices over time to dissolve the attachment to some form of illusion. 

The Truth is Wholeness.  Anything less is made up.  Concerted effort at reconciling this and living it fully is the work of the spiritual path.

All Rights Reserved, Scott Patrick Schwenk 2012

30 Days + of Gratitude ~ Day 27

Having been in deep retreat in the mountains of New Mexico over New Years, my writing got a bit off schedule.  There've been a couple of double-entries of Gratitude in this series.  I'm being nudged intuitively to finish out the series going back to the single entry of five points for each day.  Still feeling into whether I'll continue the series beyond 30 days on this blog, and if so, for how long.  I'm still experimenting with the flow of writing through this blog.  My sense at the moment is that some other pieces are ready to have creative focus in the blog writing.

1. I am grateful for the power of firewalking this past Saturday, Jan 2nd.  If memory serves me, I took my 7th and 8th walks across the burning coals that night.  For me, at this time, it's an affirmation and a demonstration (to myself) of my faith in the Reality that transcends, and includes, what my five senses report.  There's far more to the process than I'll include here, and I would say I'm very much a student of the many lessons around fire, with much to integrate and discover along the way.  I can't speak for other walks led by other teachers or groups, but with the ones I've experienced, there's no gimmick.  Having been involved in helping with the preparation from the gathering of the wood all the way to supporting the walkers, I can say that the fire is real, very hot, and commands respect and humility in order to not be burned.  That is a lesson I'm continuing to learn about every powerful tool or medicine along the path.  Anything that holds great power for Awakening can easily be twisted and misused by the ego, and this is where the harder lessons seem to come forward.  In the way we approach the walk, there is a great deal of awareness, focus, intention, and humility cultivated...as well as fun and humor!  Getting too serious is just a different manifestation of a lack of humility, a form of pride that stems from insecurity...and a lesson I've gotten to engage with more times than my ego would like to remember :)
2. I am grateful for the continually growing willingness to trust intuitive flashes that are outside the box of what I may have some conscious knowledge or information around.  A more practical example is in treating the plantar warts on both of my big toes.  I've been getting flashes of keywords to google, an old book nestled in the back of my closet ("Back To Eden"), and other nudges around plant usage that I haven't seen any written materials about.  This morning these flashes were around specific essential oils to use, in particular, Frankincense.  When I googled the usage of Frankincense in wart treatment, there were entries speaking about successful treatment.  
3. I am grateful for the power of the spirit of Frankincense.  With so many uses and applications, the life-force of this plant contained in its plasma, it's resins, has the ability to awaken memories, open energy flows in the subtle systems, raise the energy of people and spaces to expansive and refined Awareness, as well as treating physical conditions.  Just this morning, I ran across a piece of information suggesting that it repairs damaged DNA, suggesting strong usages in releasing viruses from the DNA (where they take hold and replicate).  The DNA is the physicalization of one's karmic blueprint...all the thoughts, feelings, and actions taken in this and other lives are all recorded in the DNA.  Perhaps this is the physical correspondent to the famed akashic records said to have recorded all the history and future of All the manifest world.
4. I am grateful for my new subscription to National Geographic Magazine (thanks Mom!).  I'm completely geeking out on it.  The pictures are insane, and the articles are fascinating (like this month's focus on Bionics...they're actually hooking up bionic arms, eyes, ears, and more to peoples nervous system, and the brain is able to make these machines function the way the original human parts would have).
5. I am grateful for Facebook.  Yes, Facebook!  Really.  I am able to keep up on the lives of people I care about all around the world in meaningful and hilarious ways.  While it may not be the same as a live conversation, I feel like Facebook is one of the tools that shows how connected we all are, and gives ways to nourish and expand all those circles.  We haven't even begun to work into the power of collective wisdom, collective awareness yet...and it's already been great.  You get out what you put in.  Like a garden.  Maybe all of life reflects how we're willing to see it.

Love's Expression Unfolding through YOU:

While I was living in the Siddha Yoga Meditation Ashram, having my life and my molecules completely reorganized by Love's relentless waves, I had the thought that one day I'd probably go back out into the world and work again (though when I joined the staff, I intended on staying forever...). I knew that whatever I did in the world needed to impact the most people possible in a positive way, so I asked myself what lines of work and industries had the furthest reach on the planet. And after a lot of inquiry and interviewing people, I settled on the entertainment industry.

Though I left behind formal employment in entertainment when I left CAA over 7 years ago, I never left that commitment behind - to be a conduit for affecting the most number of people on the planet in a positive way.

Just now while lying on my massage table doing the breathwork I usually guide others through, some dots connected up, in the way they seem to when I get out of my intellect and into a place open-hearted expansion and surrender. In that place, social media, Twitter to be exact, rose up in my awareness.

I've had a number of conversations lately with people who've somewhat defined themselves by being non-Twitter users, stating their lack of interest in following peoples latest meals, bowel movements, and latest finds at the flea market. All that is just one layer of social media...and we're in the midst of a Expression Movement; a defining era that is opening up wide expression capacities for EVERYONE. Just like the town you live in, there are people at every level of consciousness, and as social media networks continue to expand, we'll see all those layers expressed in status updates and tweets.

HOWEVER, that doesn't yet touch what's possible with these networks. Now more than ever, we have a chance to not only "Be the Change", but have it impact wide circles of people, people we may never even meet by putting our expression out there...writing and posting the things you'd want to be lifted up by, the articles, quotes, and sites that expand your point of view, your capacity to hold lots of points of view without having to make any one of them the only or the right point of view.

There's no end to how powerful these networks are and will become. Feel like you can't come up with something "worth" posting? That's just insecurity trying to shut down your voice.....just old bullshit coming to the surface to be released as the illusion it is. Still unclear about insecurity? Read my earlier blogs about my own dance with that part of the shadow.

Bypass judgment, and jump in! You have Awesome and Amazing things to share. You have a gorgeous Heart and can be as much of a conduit of Spirit and Love and Awakening as anyone...or good tips about how to keep rats out of a roof garden (wish one of you in my network had been tweeting about that a few weeks ago!).

Drop the fear, and write! Share it! Trust more :)

Love,
Scott

In Security...Part III

One day, I was out walking with my mentor David Elliott and a few others on a break from the book tour for THE RELUCTANT HEALER in Eugene, Oregon, when David pointed up to a tree with a large green ball of something growing in it's branches. "Mistletoe," he said.

Mistletoe is a parasite that will move into a plant and mimic the leaves and branches of that plant and grow with the plant. The plant will not know that it is there. The mistletoe will keep feeding off of the plant's lifeforce (letting the plant do all of the work to gather more lifeforce) until it takes over the entire tree or plant and kills it.

Recognition, Money, and Belonging all promised to make me feel better about myself. Yet none of these really makes a difference as long as the mistletoe of insecurity is still growing in the tree of the human beingness. No amount of success, recognition, or appreciation is ever enough as long as this parasite is feeding. Any feelings of expansion, elevation, and love, are usually short-lived...that is until we start to deal with insecurity, and move into Security.

Writing that last blog entry on insecurity and making it public took more courage than I expected. My mind kept trying to present scenarios where sharing the information caused people to turn away. Working with the tools I've shared with my clients, and primarily the breathwork, has been what continues to carry me through this process.

When I was much younger and just getting started on my spritual path, I was thouroughly convinced that my job was to find the most enlightened saint on the Earth, get him or her to bop me on the head and I would be fully enlightened too, going along my merry way with no more cares or worries ever again. I've met a number of people many would and in some cases do, consider saints...and while there has been some head bopping here and there, none of the blows to the head seemed to shortcut the need to do the work of cleaning my own house.

I believe that insecurity is one of the ways that the ego or shadow would have you and I to not give our gifts in the world, to not allow God's Love, Spirit's Empowerment, Nature's Unstoppable Flow of Grace....from moving through you and I as conduits.

Yesterday, driving back from teaching at We Care Spa in Desert Hot Springs, as I do most Mondays for the last 2+ years, I was filled with commitment...commitment to root out insecurity completely...starting with the place it lives most obviously to me....in my financial debt.

And in making this commitment, a big idea came through my intution to support this commitment. The more quickly the debt is paid off, the more quickly I will clear a lot of the old energies holding the insecurity in place, and the more room there will be for the Power of the Work to come through my life and offerings. AND, whatever I do around this has to benefit more people than just me.

In line with this commitment, I intend that all my financial debt be completely paid-in-full by December 31st, 2009, and that it be done through inspiring Security, Trust, and Faith in all who cross my path, while deepening my own.

Love,
Scott

Boundaries and Insecurity Part 2

Now I'm going to move into the more personal as a way of sharing what I'm learning about these powerful areas, navigating the way to abiding love.

In the last couple of weeks, the clarity has been getting much sharper around my own relationship to insecurity in my lifetime, and perhaps many lifetimes. I don't mean to sound arrogant here, but I know that the work that has come through me is powerful and has helped many people to discover more about themselves, what they seek, and move towards awakening to their potential. This awareness has been with me since I was a child, though back then it would get me into a lot of trouble. I had no idea that I was working with fire, and that fire needs a strong container and a lot of respect in order not to burn me, the surroundings, or other people along the way.

Let me clarify -- it wasn't and isn't the power of intuition or Spirit or Healing that got or gets me into stuck places...it's nearly always some form of insecurity. And the further I walk the trail of healing and teaching, the more Awareness is cultivated, the stronger the force that hits against any illusions I'm still carrying, no matter the size.

Insecurity is one of the biggest illusions of all. It, at one time or another had me convinced I was unattractive, insignificant, not good enough, not strong enough, and just not lovable by anyone from whom I was wanting love and not seeming to get it.

Have you ever been out and about and noticed someone you found really really attractive, smiled in his or her direction, and got nothing in return? How'd that make you feel? Did you spend the rest of your time at that gym, restaurant, store, bar, club, or wherever working to make yourself appear more attractive to get the recognition you were craving. I have done that. And in recent times, have caught that reflex in-action. I have been working to connect the dots and notice how my insecurity can be triggered by outside events, and what choices I have made when I'm under its influence. Kind of like D.U.I, but more like L.U.I.I. (Living Under the Influence of Insecurity). Maybe we'll have programs around that one day! Maybe even "traffic tickets" for operating under the influence of insecurity! I'm being a bit funny here (even if only to myself), but maybe that kind of reinforcement would help us all wake up more quickly to how we live, think, and feel...and to begin to make new choices to see, hear, and feel the Truth, rather than what the voice or feeling of insecurity is trying to convince you and I.

In my adult life, one of the areas I've been most influenced by insecurity has been through the way my ego percieves my value. It has gotten this through how much money is in my bank account, what kind of people have been interested in me (or not) romantically, and what people say, think, and feel about me as a person. I'm sure I'm the only one here, right? Ha ha!

In the last couple of weeks, this study of mine has honed in on the area of my work as a healer and teacher. While I was up in San Francisco recently with the healing work, I was scheduled to teach my mentor David Elliott's Level 1 Healer Training Class. The registration for the class stayed steady at 3 participants, no matter what (the first and second classes had over 30 participants). I knew I couldn't afford to spiral into any ideas about there being something wrong, as that might close down the energy of the work entirely. I'd come too far to walk back down that old road. Though I did glance at it a few times! I decided to look at this particular class as holding some powerful teachings for me, and stayed engaged in asking what those teachings might be. And while trying to remain open, without preconceived notions.

I wanted to fill the class, and was reaching inside myself for the familiar energy I would use to do that...a combination of passion, enthusiasm, and something else. Well, the passion was there. The enthusiasm was there. But something was missing. What was it? And as I tried to reach for this "mystery substance", I felt my body contract, my throat close, and a very uncomfortable feeling move through my nervous system.

A wake up call.

What was this? What was going on? And if I couldn't use whatever it was, how would I fill the class?

What revealed and continues to reveal around this is extremely potent for me in my development as a healer, a teacher, and as a human man with a heart. What I've been seeing is that throughout my life, I've had a knack for motivating people and getting them to do or try things I believe in. What I hadn't seen was that there has been a strand of energy in the midst of my best intentions that would color people's experience of me and what could be delivered through the Work. And if you've ever cooked with the spice Saffron, you know that one tiny strand of it can color and flavor a huge stockpot of soup.

In my motivation of people to take a certain class, whether with me or someone else, there have been many times when this "strand" was present. This strand has a very masculine and somewhat forceful energy to it. So even when my heart has been wide open and energy flowing, when this strand was present, it would color the experience, and leave me wondering why this person or that person stopped showing up, or disappeared on the heals of having what they described as a profound, life-altering opening.

And there's plenty of training and development for this "strand" out in the world. Whole bodies of courses and coaching programs that have this feeling running silently in the background.

Let me back-track a bit. I have carried financial debt since I entered college and took on student loans. Several of the loans were absolutely necessary to get me through school. The later student loans were so I could have a nicer lifestyle while doing it. This is where the insecurity comes in. You see, growing up, I didn't really fit in. Though I didn't realize that it was my insecurity that was keeping me from fitting in. Not my looks, not my clothes, not where I lived, insecurity. This insecurity would drive me to say and do things that had an abrassive edge to them, and the abrassive edge would push people away.

However, I couldn't see it. The ads I saw growing up told me that if I wore different clothes, owned cooler music, went to the right restaurants, that I would be seen as good enough, and wanted. It was all "outside" of me. That's the illusion that kept me on the hamster wheel all these years.

The insecurity pushed me to do all sorts of things in the name of self-improvement, and most of it on credit! Now, I'm not saying that credit is bad. Just like that old saying about guns. Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Credit isn't bad, I just don't think most of us were educated about what it is, how it really works, and in cultivating awareness around how and when to use it (rather than being used by our own insecurity through credit). It's interesting to me that credit cards are considered "non-secure credit".

What I felt when using the credit was stored or suppressed for later. Well, later is now. And I am here now to connect the dots, rectify the past, and share what I'm learning along the way so we can all move beyond insecurity to what we're really here for and THRIVE.

So coming back to that "strand" in the midst of my efforts. That debt that I carry was loaded with all the insecurity I felt throughout my life around my worth and my value as a man and as person. So if that strand was activated in my experience when I was encouraging someone around doing the work, because it was woven with insecurity, it would look for and connect with any insecurity in you and unbeknownst to me at the time,it would have some leverage to get someone to take action. Amidst the best conscious intentions for the highest good, was the subtle energy of manipulation trying to pull at the good that was trying to be created and elevated through the work.

This has not been an easy thing to see and digest. I have to walk very consciously and tenderly through this territory, cultivating even deeper self-love and neutrality. I have to notice how insecurity would rather that I not share and expose this side of my humanity, that it would rather encourage me to sink in silence.

I've gone too far down the road to be interested in either sinking or silence. And the more I step into the work, the clearer it becomes that it's much bigger than me.

It has been my practice to send out emails and make followup calls to people on my lists that I have worked with around the country before heading out to their city with the Work. Some appreciate the calls as they get innundated with emails and wouldn't otherwise know I was coming. Others were able to feel this strand in the background, and probably some didn't even know what they were feeling...just felt something uncomfortable....something they couldn't quite name, that didn't match up to their great experiences around the work, but which felt nonetheless.....off.

What I have learned in relationship to David Elliott and this work is that my job around my humanity and seeing through my shadow is to know in my heart, deeply, that I am 100% good and loving...to keep putting attention on this knowing and let it melt away the vestiges of the illusion of insecurity.

A few weeks ago 40 of us gathered with David in the high desert of Joshua Tree deep into Joshua Tree State Park for a simple and powerful ceremony around a fire. Prior to the ceremony, he sat in the early morning hours and opened his intuition through hearing, and was given statements for each of us to make and have witnessed by the elements, the group, the desert, Spirit, Reality....here is the one I was given:

"Do you know how much I care about you, and you, and you -- and this work. I am beginning to figure out how little this experience is about my ego, my needs, how smart I appear, how many answers I have, how enlightened I am. I'm a seed, I'm germinating, sprouting, and growing now. I am beautiful!"

For any of you over the years and lifetimes who have ever in any way felt manipulated, cajoled, pushed out of my insecurity through any insecurity you may carry, I deeply, humbly offer you my apologies. I have only ever had the best intentions in my heart. I call that energy back to me, and to the light of Truth for it to be fully healed. My conscious intentions were only ever for your highest good. Now that these unconscious intentions are being seen, I take responsibility for them as well.

May you be completely free from any and all forms of suffering and the causes of suffering. May you have happiness and the causes of happiness. May you know you are 100% good, 100% loveable, 100% LOVE!

Thank you Spirit, thank you David, thank you Mom and Dad, thank you to all my friends past and present, thank you to all of my clients who continue to be teachers to me, bringing in areas that I get to work with more deeply in myself...and I thank myself, for not giving up, for reaching through the pain and illusions of the past to Trust and Faith and Love.

The journey continues...I'll share more as it unfolds...

Love,
Scott

Boundaries and Insecurity

I’m fresh from the the high desert (Joshua Tree) where 40 of us plunged deeper into the Work through the Level 4 Healer Training Class with my mentor and friend David Elliott. It was my 3rd time participating in this class, and what an enormous gift to my life! Every time I repeat one of the trainings, my Awareness around the work and mySelf takes a quantum leap deeper. Two of the main areas I’ve been honing in on and studying closely are Boundaries and Insecurity and just how crucial awareness around them is to Freedom and Self Love, and ultimately everything in life. Boundaries and Insecurity are deeply related....wherever you and I are insecure, our boundaries are likely to be shaky at best. Wherever we’re insecure, we leak our personal energy, our life-force. And in it’s infinite sense of humor, the Universe will keep bringing in people and situations to challenge these boundaries and insecurities to help shine the Light of Awareness on them so that we can have CHOICE. With Choice comes Freedom!

I will be focusing deeply into these two areas in all of the Work this week in San Francisco, and making sure to find the humor, share it, and have a lot of Fun along the way! I figure that the lessons are going to come in, and I might as well have fun along the way!

The Key to Healing

Preview from David Elliott's (author of THE RELUCTANT HEALER, and mentor and friend) upcoming book (still in process):

"The key to healing, love, life, spirit, connection, faith, and enlightenment revolve around you being able to love yourself. If you do not like you, you cannot love you. This is ground zero, the starting point for your work. Nothing in your life is going to bear fruit until you learn to love yourself and make contact with the center of your Universe, your heart, and the love that flows through it. You have to learn to feel love for yourself through your heart. You have to be able to feel the smiles for yourself in your heart. Self-love connects you to everyone, and everything. Once you love yourself you can effectively move out into the world and love others. Love makes you Universal. It is the foundation in which to understand life. It connects you to the Master’s who walked the earth, “Love thy neighbor as thyself” will begin to make sense when you have learned to love yourself, it cannot happen if you do not love you. For love to exist in your world it has to happen inside of you first, then it can propagate 360 degrees around you. You become a circle, a Universe of love. Can I be anymore repetitive, emphatic, or clear about this!"
----this and more at http://blog.thereluctanthealer.com/

Walking In The Light Without Tripping Over Shadows

Until it's some other way for you and I, until all the illusions are burned out, we must know and make peace with our walk....and recall that with the intention to walk in the Light, and the activity of putting actual consecutive footsteps to that walk, that we will face shadows. Shadows being those elements that appear real and are based on some conscious or unconscious illusions we still hold.

It's so easy to forget that shadows cannot appear without a light-source. It is the light-source that reveals a shadow. With no light, there would be no differentiation or contrast to see any differences.

So it is crucial, and of vast value to remember that even when the heaviest and seemingly most fearsome beliefs (illusions/shadows) start to surface, that there is an unperturbable Light-Source behind all shadows.

A Light-Source that when given even a little attention can change the whole human experience. It doesn't matter what tradition you find yourself waking up inside of (or outside of, as the case may be).

What matters is the recognition of Truth and the willingness to have it be North on the compass, THE organizing principle. To have regular and consistent ways and means for checking in with and placing attention on this organizing principle every day and throughout each day.

We're moving deeply into the experience of the Full Moon this week (it exacts on Sunday at 11:12am PST). The Full Moon reflects a tremendous amount of light. When this light hits any object, it casts a shadow. This is especially true on the level of internal experience. This Light hits the consciousness and wherever there still lives any form of conscious or unconscious identification with illusion, that identification acts like a gnarled big old tree in the middle of the night out in a field. When the light of the Full Moon hits that tree, a gnarled-looking shadow is cast alongside the tree.

If you look at the shadow and believe it to be a real reality (having it's own independent existence), you will have certain experiences. And your thoughts, words, and actions will arise from this illusion. Everything created from this way of seeing will be based on illusion. Anything created on a foundation of illusion will be shaky at best, and highly destructive at worst.

Are you willing to be your own "vision coach", training your eyes to see the Truth, training your will to focus on the Truth, and training your habits to become pillars of strength to support your ever-deepening recognition of Truth.

I am by no means advocating an extremist way of working with oneself. The time for walling oneself up indefinitely in a cave, monastery, ashram, or other cloistered institution seems to have passed for most of us.

As one contemporary teacher of awakening says, "Anyone can be enlightened in heaven, can you be enlightened in hell?" I hear that as a strong support to waking up and calling on the strength to stop going back to sleep even in the most uncomfortable of circumstances.

What are some indications of putting oneself back to sleep, consciously or unconsciously? Check in with your body....what's happening with your body? Is it holding anywhere, contracting in some noticeable way? Are you sitting on any emotions, swallowing them into your gut? Are you in judgment of yourself, another, or life?

Judgment is one of the clearest ways for me to recognize that I'm believing in some illusion. And when I believe in illusion, I will suffer. And only every time. Judgment is a reflection of some form of insecurity. And insecurity is one of the main ways you and I avoid the Truth. The Truth that we are already the Awakeness we seek. We are already the wholeness and Love that we search for in so many people, places, and experiences.

Insecurity is an illusion.

It feeds on lifeforce.

If you can be kept busy feeling insecure, you can be kept from sharing your Gifts with the world. You can be kept from recognizing Love. You can continue needing something on the outside to "stimulate" you in one way or another. Love needs nothing but itSelf. It is complete in itSelf. It is fulfilled in itSelf.

The opportunity opens up in the willingness to walk the walk even when it's uncomfortable. Especially when it's uncomfortable. To keep showing up for yourSelf. To be skeptical of ANY judgments that arise. To reach for the situations that consistently push you to grow outside of old views of yourself. To work with the practices that help you to See from many perspectives and points of view. Practices that help you get out of the loop of linear thinking, and feeling and recognizing the spaciousness and wholeness of Who and What you Are.

If your happiness feels tied to another person, your job, your house, your bank-account, sugar, sex, the weather, or anything else that can come and go, it's time to wake up. If you're still reading here, this is for you. It's definitely for me. I'm working with this as much as anyone. So as I was saying, if your happiness is feeling tied to anything outside of yourself, it's time to question that. Find out if it really is true that your happiness is tied to something outside of yourself. I can promise you from experience that it is not. I can promise you from experience that Spirit is real by whatever name you might call it, or not call it. There is a vast, unlimited Source. It has no judgment. Not of you, not of your choices, not of the people you know, not of politics, religion, sex, or anything at all. Judgment is born of separation and insecurity.

When I can embrace you as myself, I am free. When I cannot, I am bound. My work today is to see the Truth...to recognize the One Face in the many. To exchange with the Truth with every breath. To invite Source to reveal the Truth moment-by-moment that I may be the clearest expression of Unconditional Love for myself and all beings.

We are worth it. It is our birthright. Awakeness is. Love is. We are supported beyond belief!