There's A Freedom

There’s a freedom

Whisperin’ in my ear,

‘I’m here, I’m here.

Lay down your burdens

Sweet one,

‘Cause I’m here, I’m here.

Well your Daddy done

All right, and

Your Momma’s been up

Nearly every night

Hopin’, prayin’, wantin’

Your life to be so bright.

Yes, oh, yes

My dear,

They done all right

They done all right.

Let the past

Be past

And the night be night.

I say it’s time,

It’s time,

For you to

Come all the way Home

Tonight.’

Scott Patrick Schwenk     12/15/10

And Now the Laughing Begins

And Now the Laughing Begins

Riding the currents of 
Breath,
Not knowing whose
Yet sensing it as
Yours.


On certain days,
The surf pounding 
Against the gritty sand of
Fruitless mentation,
Agitation,
Irritation...


Only love
Caressing
Love.


Each sitting
A little warmer.


The thaw 
deepening towards 
a seeming icy core of
self-imposed
albeit
unconscious
holding back
separation
from You.


Each sitting
A little less familiar
A little less me
One less pair of 
Prada sunglasses
Reached for.
Less need for shielding.


I am the Light 
I've been protecting myself from.


And now the laughing
begins.

Scott Patrick Schwenk     1/26/10

Turning Poison Into Nectar

"That by which we fall is that by which we rise."
~ Kularnava Tantra

In times of increased energy; during a Full Moon or Eclipse, at the height of great emotion, on the heels of a powerful spiritual experience or awakening, when something we believe to be greater than we thought to be possible happens...in these times, not only the light in us, but also any illusions we're carrying (known or unknown) are also magnified. And when illusions are magnified, it can feel painful, even like everything we know is falling apart. What is true North during these moments? How do we meet them productively without giving in to the ego's convincing chatter that something has gone horribly wrong and is only going to get worse?

How can we turn these experiences from poison to nectar? What can we look to for real, palpable support?

Don't get mad...'cause I'm going to say the 'd' word again. Discipline. The tendencies for the mind to look on the dark side are a form of discipline, habit turned to conditioning. Pavlov's dog; ring the bell, and the dog salivates after many times of ringing a bell and then giving the dog food, the dog then associates bell-ringing with impending food delivery.

So we've got these two forms of discipline or conditioning...the ones that have disciplined the mind to be invested in illusions and create suffering of any degree, and the ones that avail the mind to Truth.

When Socrates says "Know Thyself", he's not offering it out for the heck of it. How well do you really know yourself? How clear are you about the bells that consistently get you to salivate, even when there's no food in sight? Are you ready to unhook from the puppet-strings that make you act, think, and feel in ways that are wholly unproductive to your Freedom, to living fully in the present moment, and able to choose, really choose the best option for all concerned in the moment, rather than being led around by your conditioning.

For years, my sexual energy led me around like a dog on a chain. Something would trigger this sexual energy, and I would go on the hunt to act it out. Sometimes immediately, sometimes working out a plan. And I was never satisfied by the experience when it was arising in this way. Physical intimacy is only satisfying for me when my Heart is open and I don't need it. When I'm sharing it from a place of contentment.

Sure, I've been able to have a truck-load of peak-experiences, but most of them were merely spikes of adrenaline, and once over, left me feeling empty, unfulfilled, and like I still had a tremendous itch that not only could I not scratch, but didn't even know what the itch was.

It's Love. Self-Love. Self-Love which opens me to Universal Love.

When I'm connected to Self-Love, everything is fulfilling, because I'm already fulfilled. So anything I engage with becomes an expression of my fulfillment, rather than a futile attempt to get some person, experience, or place outside of me to lift me up, to complete me, which by definition, it cannot.

I have had to develop the discipline to Love myself. No Guru, holy book, sacred vortex, or special diet can do this for me. And when I'm connected to Self-Love, I can feel and be further uplifted by the Truth through various scriptures, amazing meals with friends, long silent meanderings through nature, the hummingbirds outside my window, or anything else that shows up in exchange.

This past Saturday night, I went to a puja, an ancient Indian ritual with powerful chants honoring and invoking the Truth that is already here through direct experience. On the drive over to Maha Yoga in Brentwood for the puja, I focused on feeling the breath moving through my body, the sensations of it, and all the ways I Love myself. This was my preparation. And I continued it throughout the puja.

Over and over again during the puja, I was amazed at the intense, expansive currents of palpable energy I felt moving in wave after blissful wave through my body and my Heart. These currents were emanating from within my Heart in response to the chants. And having been at this spiritual path business for a couple of decades, I've been to a number of chants and other rituals. And always from a place of looking to the ritual to give me something, something I wasn't finding within.

It's this ridiculously funny irony (at least to me)...until I find what I'm looking for on the inside, I'll never find it on the outside.

How does that apply to turning poison into nectar?

When I'm connected to Self-Love, I don't see or experience anything as poison. I experience it as no different from anything else. Another moment in time with choices to make, or not. And actions to take or not, knowing that what I am doesn't change either way....what I Truly am. From this perspective, I can meet any circumstance with what it needs.

Do I always do this? No.

Am I developing my capacity to live this way all the time? Yes. That's discipline.

So the places where I feel like I'm falling are the places where I'm being shown my next exercise to develop Self-Love in the Universal Gym.

Do You Ever...

Do you ever wonder? Really wonder?

I don't remember a time when I didn't. This kind of curiosity has been the consistent nudge from the Universe that's kept me discovering over and over again new territory outside the confines of what I've already known. It's given me leverage to let go of the familiar and stay engaged with the adventure that is my life.

I remember driving with my Mom in the passenger seat on Sunset Boulevard one stunning sunny afternoon as she turned to me and said, "You're not really a rule-follower, are you?"

"No," I managed to get out through an explosion of laughter, "I'm not."

It's not that I disregard structure, guidelines, rules, and laws. I refuse to be defined by the seeming known. I've always sensed, as far back as I can remember, that there is more to life than what my five senses, the traditional education system, and the media have attempted to condition me with through my intellect.

This natural wonder, curiosity, and reaching through the Unknown...I can't imagine living any other way. Every time I start to get locked into a point of view these days, as my body contracts into position with it, something in me pokes me in the ribs and says, "Wake up...this isn't freedom...look again...let go of trying to control this."

Sweeping The Chimney of My Heart

"It's time,"
said The Beloved,
as we were out for
a morning jog,
"It's time to divest
yourself of the sad virus
you've carefully concealed
and carried
for so long."

"But how?", I puzzled.

"By no longer running
from Me
in every face you see,
every leaf on every tree,
and the pile
of clothes on
your bedroom floor.
Let the breath of the Heart focus
the lenses of your eyes
from here on out,
and see Me as I really am...
Already with you."

Scott Patrick Schwenk 11/8/09

There's Only One Place

You
who've scoured these
tinderboxes of sandy brown hills,
crackling parched crevices in your hands,
constellations of blisters
across the palms of your withered feet;
always the scent of hope
just when you'd give up
searching for some inkling of life,
just one little shoot
or sprout
would do...
The scorched inclines
consumed by the flames of your
tireless need for
something more than This...
sweeter,
brighter,
shinier,
a thin gossamer veil
to pretty you up,
and drape across
a faltering house of cards.

Give up losing this
house-rigged game
over and again.

Come home.
Come home.
Come home.

Wrap yourself in
the shawl of endless warmth.
Dye yourself in
the hue of this peace of mind
that won't fade in the Light of days on end.
Fidget with the hinge of the
lock on your Heart just
one more time,
and See.
Just See...
a dangling lock on
an already opened door.

You see,
there's intelligence in all this
seeming chaos.
Why would He dare attempt
locking anything so vast
as the infinity of Love
that Is your Heart?

So go on your not-so-merry chase
for something to hold you over,
until you wear yourself out
completely.
And as you heave and gasp
for one precious breath
my Dear One,
He can finally fill you with
His Truth;
You're already home
You're already home
For where else could you possibly go
when there's only
One place?


Scott Patrick Schwenk 9/4/09

Taste The Nectar of your own Heart

People come to the Work (by whatever name it may be called or not called) mostly thinking they're going to "get" something. And really what's happening is that they're coming to the Work to "lose" something.

The most valuable thing (really a non-thing) of all can't be "gotten". It's just covered up by personality, conditioning, experiences, etc.

You come to the Work to Lose what's covering up what You Are.

You already are the Peace, Love, and Security you seek through people, things, and experiences.

What the Work does is to create a space in your experience for RECOGNITION of what You Are. Once what You Are is seen (even for a fraction of a moment), the whole path starts to change. What you see in that fraction of a moment has a gravitational pull, pulling everything towards Love. How long it takes for the process to complete itself and for the proverbial fat-lady in life's opera to sing? Well, it seems to be different for everyone.

What you Are isn't an experience, and it can be seen through experiences. But chasing after experiences may not satisfy you. Have you noticed yet? Have you noticed that experiences come and then they go? Have you noticed that? Have you noticed that everything you can perceive with your senses has a beginning, a middle, and most definitely an End?

Working with something as simple as an active breathing process sets the stage for this recognition to occur...it "un-clutches" your attention.

Imagine making a fist....and imagine that the fist is closing in around something like needing your partner to acknowledge you in some way.

First, in that example, there's the experience that something is missing (approval), then the impulse to go and get it somehow. Then the determination around it is the even tighter clutching of the fist. Only your whole experience of yourself becomes contracted and clutched (even if it's subtle, clutching is still clutching....giving it a sweeter name is like putting lipstick on a pig)....and so even if approval and acknowledgment came your way, it can't make it through the contracted state of being for you to even experience it in the present moment.

In order to "receive", you have to become open, unclutched.

And the irony of this is that when you're unclutched, you're in contact with the Real You...where nothing is missing at all. In that moment, the "seeker" that has led you on a wild goose chase (from teacher to healer to CD to class to book to whatever is next on the wildly marketed spiritual buffet line)....in that moment, the "seeker" is temporarily paralyzed. And in that moment, you experience peace.

Very quickly thereafter, the ego wakes back up and believing that the peace came through an "experience" begins plotting away to create similar "experiences".....getting you back on the wild goose chase of experience-hunting.

It really believes that if it can string enough of these experiences together like some sort of necklace, you might get to live in a permanent "experience".

It doesn't work that way.

Peace comes through Recognition of what you Are, and resting in it. What you really are. Not what your mind tells you, or your mother-in-law tells you, or your pre-school teacher from 30 years ago tells you. It comes from surrendering into and ultimately as what you and I already are.

If you've been to a workshop with me, you may have noticed that I work with paradox quite a bit. I'll say one thing to one person, and something nearly opposite to another. The words are not the thing. They're being used to take consciousness to a deeper place. The workshops aren't a place to just gather information. You could spend (and may already have spent) countless lifetimes amassing information. So what. As a recovering information-junkie, I can tell you that information doesn't do squat for awakening, for recognizing Love. It just piles up and gathers dust.

Information is fine for fixing cars, doing open-heart surgery, cooking, passing exams....and there's nothing at all wrong with information. If your goal is Love, if your goal is Peace, if your goal is Security, if your goal is recognition and embodiment of Truth....information probably won't get you very far.

Letting go of concepts, beliefs, illusions about yourself, people, and life makes space for this Recognition, this remembering of who and what you are.

It really is a lot like surfing or body-surfing in my experience. All the "work" is to align with the wave, and surrender to it, let it carry you all the way in to Shore. It's building awareness of and utilizing this subtle musculature for True Balance.

Half an hour ago, I was cleaning and refilling my hummingbird feeder. As I was putting it back up outside, the hummingbirds came and sat on the feeder and starting drinking the nectar. I nearly pee'd myself (not really, but it makes it sound more dramatic!). If you know me, you know I get really excited about hummingbirds (among many other things), so having them not even an inch from my fingers was a great "surfing" opportunity.

I know how sensitive hummingbirds are to energy. I knew that if I started wanting them to be or do anything other than what they wanted, they'd feel it immediately and fly away. I also knew that I wanted to fully experience being with them. So it was this subtle balancing of being radically open to them without grasping for an experience (becoming clutched) and then being left unsatisfied.

What really excites me about hummingbirds is that they mirror something so deep and alive within me. The hummingbirds aren't the answer, they're another mirror.

With this extremely potent Full-Moon approaching, it's a great time to practice your surfing. And if you're in LA, I'd heavily encourage you to come to The Hub tomorrow afternoon from 2-6pm for the BreathWorks Immersion, The Alchemy of Transformation. We'll be working deeply with all of this and more.

Come to let go. Come to release, and become unclutched. In this release, you will recognize your Original Face, the face you had before your parents were born. In this release, you will taste the flavor of your own Heart, and in that tasting, you will experience the nectar of All Hearts.

Love,
Scott