Thursday, September 29, 2011

Gaining More Power & Leverage In Your Life

One of the preeminent social networking mavens, Brian Solis, put up this quote recently, "The distance between who I am and who I want to be is separated only by my actions and my words."

What are you saying?  What are you doing?  Who or what do you want to be?

A lot of my work with clients looks at structures and systems.  You are in essence, your own ecosystem, dependent, and interdependent with more elements, people, and aspects than you can possibly imagine.  Every aspect of your life is supported and maintained by a system of one sort or another, both those aspects that you cherish and the ones that you just can't seem to be rid of.

Clarity is key.  Clarity in seeing what's what and who's who, here and now.

Pick an area of your life to focus on right now, to carry through this article.  Choose an area that you'd like to make some change to.  Got it?  Good.

What do you want to change about it?  Be specific.

How is it right now?  What's actually happening in that area of your life here, now, in this moment?

You are saying and doing things both consciously and unconsciously to and with yourself and others that maintain this "reality".  90% of how it's going is coming from you, from your thoughts, feelings, and actions over time.  That's good news.  You can make a change.  Now.

Many years ago when I was in sales, I remember being told that my actions today were creating my results ninety days from now.  If I wanted to eat in ninety days, I'd better be on the phone, building relationships and putting projects in the pipeline now.  This applies to every area of life, though my experience shows that the timelines aren't all as concrete as ninety days, some are longer, some are more instant.  The variances are based on what we're dealing with.  The more you pay attention, the more see the timelines.

Two of the main challenges that prevent growth beyond the known over time are placement of attention and broken agreements.   See yesterday's article, The Superhighway To Happiness, where I deal with a first deep cut at how you place attention.

Before we move any further, what do you want?  Yes, YOU!  Really.  What do you want?  And are you willing to let it be important enough that your words and your actions move squarely in the direction of bringing it fully to life?

Today the bow is strung with arrow pointed squarely at broken agreements.

We all have a certain finite amount of personal energy that gets used in a number of ways, and unconsciously leaked in even more ways.  If I give you a thousand dollars right now, tax-free, cash, to do whatever you like, how will it really and actually get spent?  In 90% of people, there will be unconscious spending that does absolutely nothing at all to forward your stated and most precious intentions.  The spending will be dictated predominantly by the five senses and how they want to be pleased temporarily, with nothing to show for it later.  This is the the human condition.  Until some form of conscious presence gains a foothold in the life and the game changes from habit to choice.

Where are your broken agreements?  With yourself?  With your family?  With your co-workers?  With your lover?  Spouse?  What have you said or implied to another and never followed through on?  What intentions and resolutions have you so eloquently and emphatically stood on the bandwagon at New Year's with, only to forget thirty days later?

All these resolutions and intentions hang around like driftwood jamming and clogging the flow of a  formerly pristine river.  If you want to cool off from the heat and humidity of high Summer in this sweet river, you've got to clean out the driftwood and make room.

Make a list.  Get excited about all the space you're making for yourself.  Get lit up about having more energy available.

Take the list and deal with it, item by item.  That might look like real honest conversations where you take responsibility for what you said and make it clear that you're either going to do what you said, or not do what you said.  Just be clear.  Communicate.  Be real.  Give up the people pleasing and be honest with yourself and the world around you.

Saying "Let's do lunch," when you've got no desire or intention to actually show up is a waste of precious life force.

What are you committed to?  What matters most to you?  Where are you actually spending your time?  If there's a gap here, you have broken agreements with yourself.  And if you're going into some sinking feeling of guilt or shame, drop it.  Remind yourself of your intentions and simply get to work on cleaning out the driftwood, branch-by-branch.

Along the way, keep track of what your saying to people.  If you're giving the sense you're going to do something, write it down, put it in your calendar and do it.  Otherwise, don't give the idea that you're available for that lunch, project, meeting, or whatever.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Superhighway to Happiness


Whatever you're focusing on, you're experiencing.  Simple.  What's not so simple, until you've got the inner musculature stronger, is moving your attention at will.  If you want to be able to do 100 pushups (yes there's an app for that too...), you've got to start with 1 pushup, well performed.  Then you can move to two and 20, and according to the app, within six weeks you'll be doing 100 pushups if you follow the program.  There's some work involved, and if you don't know why you're setting out to be someone who can effectively do 100 pushups (at one time), then when you hit challenges, it's easy to get distracted which leads to diminished results which leads to quitting.  If you're human like me, you've done this in your life, at least once, if not more.

So what are you focusing on?  What are you giving attention to?  Do you like it?  Does it make you feel all warm and fuzzy?  Or does it make you a bit prickly, a bit difficult to be around when you're obsessing internally about your insecurities? 

If you're suffering, you're focused on an illusion and relating to it like it's real, true, and likely permanent.  Nothing is permanent.  That's basic Tao 101, Change is constant.  Yet when that feeling comes up, yes, you know the one....the one that takes you out of commission when you believe it....the one that your mind starts gathering all variety of "evidence" to support....when that feeling comes up, and your ego is building the case, there's an addiction at play.  There is literally a secretion of hormones in the body, a particular order of neurons firing and the system gets habituated, or addicted to that feeling, however lousy it may feel. 

Then there's the accompanying feelings of powerlessness to change that can come along for the ride.  The next thing you know, the mind is chiming in with all the "to do" items that are more urgent and time-sensitive than actually stopping all action and getting back into your right mind, into the felt presence of contentment, or even authentic happiness.

At this point in my life it's clear, the only thing I have a say over consistently is my own inner state.  The stronger my inner state, the more leverage I have in the outer world.  The weaker my inner state, the more the prevailing challenges in the world have ongoing impact on every aspect of my life. 

You can either become an organizing principle, or be organized and shuffled around by the chaos of the world.  An organizing principle in the way I'm working with it here is a power point, deeply grounded into inner strength that is grown through attention and practice.  Like an electro-magnet that turns neighboring iron filings into mini-magnets, you become this force that life organizes itself around.

So to begin this reversal of the power back to you, back to your choice to be happy independent of circumstances, we start with what you're focusing on, what you're paying attention to, what you're animating and perpetuating with your own life force.

At some point, this kind of self-reflection becomes an ongoing habit.  Along the way, it's not only an enormous support, it's CRITICAL to set aside daily time for formal practice.  What do I mean by 'formal'?  Suit and tie?  Cocktail dress and Jimmy Choo's?  Not so much. 

I mean specific scheduled times each day with set beginning and ending times that you don't let get preempted by anything. 

What do I do during this time?  Since the focus of this note is meditation, I'm going to suggest actually meditating.  It can be easy, it can be enjoyable (which is a key to depth in meditation), and there's a tremendous amount of support for learning how.

I use the EOC Institute's "Balance" mp3 ( nearly every time I meditate.  It uses tonal frequencies through your headphones, masked in the sound of gentle rainfall to literally train your brain and nervous system to live in meditative states.

Working with a seasoned teacher shortens the learning curve tremendously and helps troubleshoot places where your attention is getting caught or stuck, and restoring you into the awe-inspiring free-fall of deep meditation.

Just start. 

Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Power of FREEDOM ~ Ecstatic Breathwork ~ Fri, Sept 16th 8-9pm at The Hub

The Power of FREEDOM ~ Diving into Source of Life

This Friday night, I’ll be leading Ecstatic Breathwork at The Hub

Friday, September 16 ~ 8-9 pm ~ The Hub (West LA)

These ECSTATIC BREATHWORKSHOPS are nothing less than a journey deeper into the experience and expression of who and what you are, a journey into the Heart of Freedom within.  Through a simple and powerful breathing meditation, you gain and deepen the tools for seeing past your former limitations, gain muscle for being your own best ally, teacher, and healer, and deeply taste a place free of insecurity, full of self-love.

Breath Deep. Heart Awake. Body Soft. Attention Clear and Present.

Join Us.

When:       FRIDAY night 9/16  8-9pm (1 hour) 
                    ((Arrive early to avoid being late))
Exchange:       $20 drop-in rate/or purchase a series
Where:      The Hub ( <> )
                    2001 S Barrington Ave, Suite 150, Los Angeles, CA 90025-5363 US
                    { S Barrington Ave between LaGrange and Mississippi }
                    Entrance for the Hub is located on street level at the ground floor of the
                    parking structure located on South Barrington Avenue.
Bring:          Yoga mat and/or blanket-we'll be sitting on the floor at first then lying down
                     for the breathwork.
RSVP:        You can reserve your spot through The Hub  310-575-4200

SCOTT <> <>

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