Maya's Weave (POEM)

Rolling dice

In Maya’s weave

A cinematic

Pixelated

Variegated

Chutes and Ladders,

Snakes and Ladders,

A rose by any other name,

She’ll meet you

Where you are

A perfect match

To occupy and

Satisfy.

As long as there is

A drive

A need

A thirst.

Yearning for more

Settling for less

Debting and debting and

Debting,

He forgets;

The light of a thousand Suns,

Endless Grace,

The True Face.

After countless

Climbs and slides

Some ancient

Memory arrives

Niggling

Twisting

Poking

Nudging you Alive.

Remember

Remember

Remember

She chides.

And vanishes once more,

Obscured by mind’s

Incessant absorption

On the surface of things.

Until you see

It’s you,

You see…

Shaping,

Forming

These infinite particles of light

Through words and

Sounds

Meanings lost and

Excitedly found.

Wheat-free

Breadcrumbs

Left behind

Shrapnel of trembling hands

Extensions of a Heart

Still questioning

As the tsunami of compassion

Tenderizes,

Breaks up the fascia

From centuries lived like Narcissus

Bent over

Fixated on the meaning in reflections,

Startled,

Jarred,

Shocked awake…

Back to the

Departure,

The trailhead

At the Center.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED  2011  Scott Patrick Schwenk 3/20/11

30 Days + of Gratitude ~ Day 6

1. I'm grateful for my Heart.  Despite years of being lodged in my intellect, it has been supremely patient with me, waiting for my readiness to trust the Love in my Heart and let it open.  
2. I'm grateful to my roof-garden.  In the 9 months since building and planting the garden, it has continued to teach me more than many of the hundreds of books I poured through over the years looking for secrets to happiness.  It teaches me about patience, faith, and trust.  It teaches me about the power of simple disciplines over time, how the small act of carrying water up to the roof each day pays off in bright splashes of green plants and shimmering flowers as the plants go to seed.
3. I'm grateful to live in a neighborhood that has nearly everything I need in walking distance.  I intend to walk more and drive less in 2010.
4. I'm grateful to We Care Spa in Desert Hot Springs for being a consistent home for this work on Mondays for over 2 1/2 years.
5. I'm grateful to Equinox Fitness on Sunset for being my gym, my church, my practice ground for everything I'm working on internally and physically.  Along with being a spectacular place to train my body, it continues to be an invaluable place to train my mind and attention as well.  I consider working out to be one of my main spiritual practices.  More than just the physical returns, all that can come up in my consciousness being surrounded by people from all walks of life, in all sorts of moods and dispositions, is fantastic fodder for my real actual in-the-moment work with myself and how I view myself and others.  It's a huge opportunity to practice neutrality, compassion, and open-heartedness regardless of the circumstances. 

Excavation...

Something is happening.

In the chambers of my Heart
whilst quietly aslumber
amongst the
coziest of the cozy places
wedged effortlessly
between the various lumps of
feathers and cloth.

Ajar...

Clearly someone
must've
loosed the latch
leaving a window
to the chambers ajar.

And now this
Living Wind is
racing through the rooms
looking for any and all
ancient dust
which simply
doesn't belong,
whipping it up and out
of these causeways through
and around
and now
inside
the sanctum sanctorum.

Rupturing with a giggle
that glides
into to an uproaring
escape of
richter scale 9.2 laughter.

The gossamer veil
that once surrounded the
whole enterprise
in double-bagged
fashion
like groceries
in the 80's
is now flapping and flying in
this unstoppable
breeze
that is sometimes
racing at gale force.

I am Alive.

Scott Patrick Schwenk 11/28/09

Why Wait?

Why wait until February 14th and the days leading up to it to fall deeply into Love? I know...you're not waiting. But what is Love? When I say Love, what immediately comes to mind? Hmmm.....curious.

I've been finding myself nearer than usual, and regularly, to the edge of tears since re-emerging from retreat in New Mexico with my friend and mentor David Elliott (http://reluctanthealer.com). And while some of the time, it's been motivated by what feels like an ancient sadness without any story-lines to back it up, the majority of the time, it's been the intensity of Love moving through my heart. I feel that sweet ache that comes just before the waterworks edging through my tear-ducts just writing into this.

Even this afternoon, buying almonds under the crassest florescent lights in Trader Joes, that now familiar pulsation intensified in the center of my chest, my body heated up, and I felt like I was about to cry. From what? The simple thought of appreciation for the apples, how beautiful they looked, and gratitude for all the people, animals, insects, and essential elements involved in those apples forming, growing, and making it to market.

Gratitude has been the most common trigger for the 'almost-tears' these last two weeks. And while a part of my ego (that still is under the hysterical and dated perspective that strong men shouldn't be moved to tears in public) would want to suppress this intensity of feeling, the rest of me knows better. The rest of me knows this is one the most important times of my life so far. Why? My Heart is opening to depths I always longed for, but never knew for sure would really happen for me.

So I've endeavored to keep the whole thing really simple. To gently attend to these movements by bringing awareness and gratitude to my Heart and all the ways it's now being allowed to open and express. To let go of any expectations that arise about how it may play out in some imagined future, and come back to right now, the simplicity of what I'm feeling, and the generosity of my own breath.

I don't really care if I get all that moved in public right now. And how am I to know ~ it could be giving someone I don't even know or notice, the permission to feel more deeply into his or her own Heart. No more waiting for Love, Love is here now.