When Intuition Opposes Evidence

                                   Lakshmi Puja for all forms of wealth (love, exchange, wisdom, money)

I've got a situation in my life that feels off.

Initially, I got very excited about potentially doing a piece of business outside of the healing work.  At the time the idea sparked for me, my bank account was letting me know I was running on fumes.  When my bank account looks like it's running on fumes (real-world evidence), I can give a portion of my mind and energy over to worry.  When this arises, it's crucial for me to take the steps immediately to get clear and grounded.

In this case, the idea itself to engage in new business had enough energy around it that it felt clear and grounding.  I felt better emotionally with the arising of this possibility.    

However, the person I've been discussing doing business with keeps falling off the radar.  

On paper, all of his business dealings look great to me...lots of positive feedback from clients, etc.  But he keeps missing appointments with me for odd reasons, letting communications fall out, and continues to let me know that this doesn't happen with other people.  

He's urged me to connect with his other clients to hear about their positive experiences.  And I'm sure I'd hear great things if I did reach out to them.

However, something is off.  And even if this is the first time in this man's life, it is off.  And what is off in him has been connecting to me through the insecurity opened up through my financial concern.  I am seduceable by things external to me when I am not clear about these places within myself.  I am seduceable by things that appear like they'll deliver something great, but in the end deliver drama or nothing at all.

To be clear, this friend is an awesome human being.  An awakening has dawned within him that has bolstered his ability to help many people.  And, it's not finished yet.  There's further to go.  How do I know?  I don't through my intellect or five senses.  And I do through intuition.  I have very little, if any, outer evidence for knowing this about him.

When I separate out any need for my life to look differently than how it is at the moment...when I grow deeper roots into contentment, into the awareness that All Is Well, that as I trust and love myself more deeply in tangible, real, and palpable ways, I am able to be supported across the boards by the Universe.  I am able to let this support in...to receive.  It doesn't have to come in expected or known ways.  When I step deeper into that "knowing", I have more space to check in with and trust intuition.

Intuition tells me to wait and be patient about getting into business with this friend.  That he is entering into a deeper process within himself, and that now is the time for me to hold a space for him, without needing anything from him.  That now is not the time to be building a new business with him.

The time could come, and I don't have to struggle or strain to make that time be now.  I'm interested in more ease in my life, more fluid exchanges, more space for Grace to flow.  If I have to struggle and strain to make something happen, it may not be for me, or may not be for me right now.

What if I stay consistent with these practices of self-love, clearing, grounding, and deepening my relationship with intuition?

I become more aware of where the real timely opportunities are, rather than being seduced by shiny twinkling things that end up using up a lot of my life-force and aren't yet able to fully deliver what they promise.

And to my friend, when you read this, thank you for being a part of the process of my deepening trust in myself and the process of life.  I have deep respect and love for you.  I am sure we have walked together down many roads in the past.  I am sure there are more walks ahead.  I release you from any energy of being responsible for my well-being that I may have projected onto you.

WEALTH

I am one of the wealthiest people I know.

I have unlimited access to Abundance.

My Abundance can not be even minutely reflected by a number in the current monetary system.

"Contemporary European author, Bernard Lietaer, former senior officer of the Belgian Central Bank and one of the chief architects of the Euro currency, in his book, Of Human Wealth, says that greed and fear of scarcity are programmed; they do not exist in nature, not even in human nature. They are built into the money system in which we swim, and we've been swimming in it so long that these shadows have become almost completely transparent to us. We have learned to consider them normal and legitimate behavior. He concludes that Adam Smith's system of economics could more accurately be described as the allocation of scarce resourses through the process of individual greed. The whole process of Smith's "modern" economics actually has its roots in primitive fears of scarcity, greed, and the implementation too -- the process by which this became real -- was money."
~ from THE SOUL OF MONEY by Lynne Twist

I have an abundance of time, Love, Awareness, and Healing...all of which are valuable commodities that can be exchanged without limit. On more directly observable levels are all the skills and talents I have been blessed with and continue to uncover, develop, and expand.

As we inch and perhaps eventually sprint into what will be the new economy of Exchange inside of a circle without beginning or end, you and I will have an ever expanding community with which to exchange our abundant resources for food, clothing, shelter, learning, entertainment, health & fitness, and so many other commodities.

This form of exchange requires that I develop and expand Self-Love, which allows me to clearly recognize, honor, and value the abundant resources I steward and share. As I have authentic awareness of the value of these gifts, they become recognizably valuable in the marketplace of Exchange.

When I let the status of my debt-to-income ratio in the current monetary system become the metric for my self-worth, I can not and do not perceive my innate abundance and the profound abundance of the natural world, and reflexively obscuring this value, rendering it unable to be exchanged within the world at large.

Perhaps this is in the direction of what Jesus meant by teaching his students to "Be in the world but not of it." For it's not about pretending the current monetary system doesn't exist. At the moment, I can't walk into Whole Foods and ask the cashier to exchange a cart full of groceries for a healing session. That, however, doesn't confine the scope of exchange solely to the current monetary system.

For example, there may be one or more people who have services I would need or want, and who see great value in experiencing my work. By exchanging outside the monetary system, money I would have spent on those services now becomes available for purchasing that cart full of groceries from Whole Foods.

So I'm not presenting an "either/or" scenario. Rather, a complementary relationship between the two systems...a way to think, step, and act outside the box that so many of us have found ourselves at one time or another confined by.

As I have more and more successful exchanges in this type of barter system, where all parties are uplifted by through the entire process all the way to completion, each of us leaves these exchanges with a deeper awareness of our innate Abundance, Value, and Worth...bolstering the whole system.

I do believe that developing the musculature for these types of Awareness and Exchange is crucial if we are to thrive in the times ahead. My intuition tells me that we've only seen the beginning of the crumbling of the current economic structures, an appetizer for a potentially very unpleasant meal for those dependent on the current system.

And let me be crystal clear here; I don't think this crumbling is some form of retribution or punishment for past deeds as such. I am being shown that it is part of our collective Awakening to the Truth of Who and What we Truly Are.

In the process of Awakening, illusions are exposed. Any and all illusions. The current monetary system is no longer backed up by gold. It is mere printed paper based on indebtedness. There is very little, if any, reflection of the true abundance of the natural world, and what you and I truly are. This neither makes the monetary system good or bad. It is simply a reflection of our collective conscious awareness. We are growing and realizing more expanded levels of consciousness, so our systems will mirror this phoenix-in-the-flames movement.

What's the key? The main key I see for myself is to deeply, viscerally know what I am, to honor, value, and steward This in myself, and all of life through the ways I take each and every step in my life.

What To Do When Nothing Seems To Be Working...

We all have these moments at one point or another. A situation, relationship, inner experience that just won't seem to yield to any of our best efforts at change.

The first thing is to take stock. What's the reality around what I'm dealing with in the situation at hand. Let me put all the facts on the table, so I can see what's the fabrication of insecurity either as a projection of fantasy or an attempt to solidify doubt. This is a really great thing to do in writing.

Next, getting clear about what my unmet needs and wants are about it...and being truthful about what I may be avoiding doing, looking at, and acknowledging that would get some flow moving. AND immediately doing, looking at, or acknowledging fully. OR, what am I doing that is a dis-service to my intentions, where am I leaking energy by engaging with the "unnecessary".

For many things, these steps will get things moving in a healthy direction, create more expansion, and open deeper clarity.

What if they don't? What if I really go for it, and am still feeling like it's "stuck"?

At this point, my intuition tells me that its probably a major life lesson, and that I'm being offered an opportunity to grow exponentially based on how I show up for myself and any related elements and people in the midst of the "stuckness".

When something like this pops its head up (mine seems to usually be around finance so far), the normal trend is for it to bring up insecurity, fear, and doubt...with a layer over it of anger, resentment, and frustration. These emotions, while having a sort of reality, can be a way of staying distracted from the best path of action and being. They can take on an overwhelming life of their own. One that seeks to involve other people's energy and attention, and none of it making any difference, only adding to the emotional turmoil, the emotional drama.

Example ~ my finances continue to expand and contract and expand and contract. When the finances appear to be contracting, it can trigger massive insecurity and distrust in the Universe having my back. Along with the insecurity and distrust, comes fear of very bleak ego-imagined future. If I let these feelings hang around, unquestioned, unexplored, and if I don't do the work of connecting with self-love....oh brother! Watch out! This is the place where I'm likely to stub a toe, forget things, run late, rush, get irritable with customer service providers, make poor nutritional decisions, etc. Sound at all familiar? And then, top it all off with some frothy self-judgment...if you've been walking the spiritual path, you might hear the voice that says, 'You should know better by now. Maybe you're devolving,' or something fairly close.

"You'll have much less drama with money in your personal life if you hold your value more."
~ David Elliott

I can't suppress those voices, as that'll only give them more fuel for their next appearance. And ignoring them is fruitless as well. PRESENCE.

I've got to get present. There are likely more ways of getting present than there are humans on the planet. So this isn't about the "right way" to get present, it's about trusting your common sense and doing what you know to do, and doing it NOW.

So back to the example around finance. Let's say I've already done everything I know to do around my finances and my work for the moment. Bills have been paid and/or explicit agreements have been made with all bill collectors. And let's say there's no real sense of where the next chunk of money's going to come from, or when. Then what?

PRESENCE. First, I get to cleaning. Physically cleaning all the spaces I occupy. Even if I just cleaned the day before. There's always fresh dust to clean in a place with hardwood floors and lots of surfaces. Point being, there's always something that can be cleaned. It's a way of honoring and expressing gratitude for what I have (why give me more if I'm not appreciating what I already have?). This usually yields immediate insight or intuition about what needs my focus next to engage more flow.

PRESENCE. How am I showing up for EVERYTHING? It might seem daunting, but it yields a rich harvest. Every footstep, every breath, every word is an opportunity for me to birth something into the world. Even if I'm feeling like crap on the inside, I can still choose to reach into compassion, service, gratitude, and self-love in the presence of people and activities. It may be a longer growing cycle than say microwaved popcorn, yet the amount of love, attention, integrity, and authenticity I pour into this garden will produce great fruit, and SEEDS to share plant for future gardens.

OBSERVATION. My willingness to observe myself without judging while doing the above will bring even more awareness of what needs my attention next.

Cross-Training for Freedom

Ever get in a rut with routines? Maybe it's not a rut as such, as much as a plateau. There's a part of me that can crave the familiar through routine, ie; eating the same foods, doing the same tried and true exercises at the gym, eating at the same restaurants, etc.

While routines are a great way to cultivate a certain aspect of discipline, it's equally valuable to shake things up a bit, to go into brand-new situations and find my "legs", as-it-were, in a new environment.

Athletes regularly cross-train their bodies across a vast spectrum of exercises and disciplines to train balance, agility, strength, and Awareness. English Theatre actors cross-train their capacities as actors by studying things like fencing, dance, singing, and writing.

Zen students often cross-train in Archery, Flower Arranging, and Gardening as well as deepening through classical practices like seated meditation, solving koans, and doing self-inquiry.

As I've been spending more time focusing my awarenes in Los Angeles lately, I've been drawn to learning new skills and expanding others...and all as a way to sharpen embodied agile Awareness across a broader spectrum.

It's easy (mostly) for me to be aware of the Presence when meditating, doing breathwork, teaching, writing, and other "active" spiritual practices. I'm endeavoring to widen the birth for Truth and Spirit and Self-Love by engaging in things where I'm more of a beginner.

Today I dragged myself to a grappling class led by a friend who's something like a 5th degree blackbelt in Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune Do. In this arena, I am a beginner in a class of students who've been at it much longer than me. Oh, and I say 'dragged myself' as I had a tremendous amount of resistence to class come up in the hour before it was time to go. Meanwhile, I was looking forward to it all week long. Anything like that ever happen to you?

"How you do anything is how you do everything."
~ David Elliott

I'm looking at taking a cooking basics series at the Epicurean School here in LA. While I've cooked since about age 5 (there're some great stories about nearly averting fires, lol!), as I've been cooking more and more for myself, I've notice that the box of ideas I cook from is a lot more limited than I'd like.

And jumping into a cooking program, or martial arts, or the video dance jam classes I've been toying with at Equinox...all these are venues for me to be brand-new, to be a beginner, and to bring conscious Awareness into blind-spots.

These are practical ways for me to play with my edge around the unknown. To see what comes up through my ego about not being perfect in the first class, to digest some of the competitive energy I still carry, and to see how intuition works with and through me in these situations outside my familiar comfort zone.

I love it! I'm always glad, walking out of one of these classes or new situations, that I go for it. I trust myself to ask questions, to make mistakes and learn through experience. And where insecurity arises...that's great! It points out where I can bring more self-love, trust, and faith. It lets me know where my work is with myself.

There's a difference between what I'm working with around all of this, and say shopping the "spiritual buffet". How do I know? I was a busy consumer on that buffet for a number of years. Shopping the spiritual buffet would be like reading and trying little bits of a lot of different things without focusing deeply enough on anything to realize the fruit of the practice. Usually it comes along with seeking peak experiences more than burning off of tightly held illusions.