Friday, January 15, 2010

When Intuition Opposes Evidence

                                   Lakshmi Puja for all forms of wealth (love, exchange, wisdom, money)

I've got a situation in my life that feels off.

Initially, I got very excited about potentially doing a piece of business outside of the healing work.  At the time the idea sparked for me, my bank account was letting me know I was running on fumes.  When my bank account looks like it's running on fumes (real-world evidence), I can give a portion of my mind and energy over to worry.  When this arises, it's crucial for me to take the steps immediately to get clear and grounded.

In this case, the idea itself to engage in new business had enough energy around it that it felt clear and grounding.  I felt better emotionally with the arising of this possibility.    

However, the person I've been discussing doing business with keeps falling off the radar.  

On paper, all of his business dealings look great to me...lots of positive feedback from clients, etc.  But he keeps missing appointments with me for odd reasons, letting communications fall out, and continues to let me know that this doesn't happen with other people.  

He's urged me to connect with his other clients to hear about their positive experiences.  And I'm sure I'd hear great things if I did reach out to them.

However, something is off.  And even if this is the first time in this man's life, it is off.  And what is off in him has been connecting to me through the insecurity opened up through my financial concern.  I am seduceable by things external to me when I am not clear about these places within myself.  I am seduceable by things that appear like they'll deliver something great, but in the end deliver drama or nothing at all.

To be clear, this friend is an awesome human being.  An awakening has dawned within him that has bolstered his ability to help many people.  And, it's not finished yet.  There's further to go.  How do I know?  I don't through my intellect or five senses.  And I do through intuition.  I have very little, if any, outer evidence for knowing this about him.

When I separate out any need for my life to look differently than how it is at the moment...when I grow deeper roots into contentment, into the awareness that All Is Well, that as I trust and love myself more deeply in tangible, real, and palpable ways, I am able to be supported across the boards by the Universe.  I am able to let this support receive.  It doesn't have to come in expected or known ways.  When I step deeper into that "knowing", I have more space to check in with and trust intuition.

Intuition tells me to wait and be patient about getting into business with this friend.  That he is entering into a deeper process within himself, and that now is the time for me to hold a space for him, without needing anything from him.  That now is not the time to be building a new business with him.

The time could come, and I don't have to struggle or strain to make that time be now.  I'm interested in more ease in my life, more fluid exchanges, more space for Grace to flow.  If I have to struggle and strain to make something happen, it may not be for me, or may not be for me right now.

What if I stay consistent with these practices of self-love, clearing, grounding, and deepening my relationship with intuition?

I become more aware of where the real timely opportunities are, rather than being seduced by shiny twinkling things that end up using up a lot of my life-force and aren't yet able to fully deliver what they promise.

And to my friend, when you read this, thank you for being a part of the process of my deepening trust in myself and the process of life.  I have deep respect and love for you.  I am sure we have walked together down many roads in the past.  I am sure there are more walks ahead.  I release you from any energy of being responsible for my well-being that I may have projected onto you.


  1. Thank you for your openness and honesty. Thank you for sharing your writing!!!!
    Love, Rita

  2. Thank you Rita! There's a client of mine who's been doing twelve-step work for some time, and she mentions one of their axioms often, "We're only as sick as our secrets." So I figure, no secrets, nothing hidden, more room for healing, Aliveness, and Love!