Mistletoe is a parasite that will move into a plant and mimic the leaves and branches of that plant and grow with the plant. The plant will not know that it is there. The mistletoe will keep feeding off of the plant's lifeforce (letting the plant do all of the work to gather more lifeforce) until it takes over the entire tree or plant and kills it.
Recognition, Money, and Belonging all promised to make me feel better about myself. Yet none of these really makes a difference as long as the mistletoe of insecurity is still growing in the tree of the human beingness. No amount of success, recognition, or appreciation is ever enough as long as this parasite is feeding. Any feelings of expansion, elevation, and love, are usually short-lived...that is until we start to deal with insecurity, and move into Security.
Writing that last blog entry on insecurity and making it public took more courage than I expected. My mind kept trying to present scenarios where sharing the information caused people to turn away. Working with the tools I've shared with my clients, and primarily the breathwork, has been what continues to carry me through this process.
When I was much younger and just getting started on my spritual path, I was thouroughly convinced that my job was to find the most enlightened saint on the Earth, get him or her to bop me on the head and I would be fully enlightened too, going along my merry way with no more cares or worries ever again. I've met a number of people many would and in some cases do, consider saints...and while there has been some head bopping here and there, none of the blows to the head seemed to shortcut the need to do the work of cleaning my own house.
I believe that insecurity is one of the ways that the ego or shadow would have you and I to not give our gifts in the world, to not allow God's Love, Spirit's Empowerment, Nature's Unstoppable Flow of Grace....from moving through you and I as conduits.
Yesterday, driving back from teaching at We Care Spa in Desert Hot Springs, as I do most Mondays for the last 2+ years, I was filled with commitment...commitment to root out insecurity completely...starting with the place it lives most obviously to me....in my financial debt.
And in making this commitment, a big idea came through my intution to support this commitment. The more quickly the debt is paid off, the more quickly I will clear a lot of the old energies holding the insecurity in place, and the more room there will be for the Power of the Work to come through my life and offerings. AND, whatever I do around this has to benefit more people than just me.
In line with this commitment, I intend that all my financial debt be completely paid-in-full by December 31st, 2009, and that it be done through inspiring Security, Trust, and Faith in all who cross my path, while deepening my own.