This new garden of mine (although it seems funny to write that word 'mine', and actually try believing it to be true, that the garden is actually 'owned' by me....I'm a custodian for it, even though I paid the money for everything that went into it, however I'm merely a custodian for all of those resources as well. When I pretend to 'own' things, all this worry comes with it....being a custodian feels so much more liberating and enjoyable. I can enjoy it while it's in my care, and when/if the time comes for something to move into someone else's care, I can let it go. Now I'm not saying I've got this mastered, but I'm in that class!).......so, this newly planted garden --- Wow! What a teacher it's been in just the two and a half days it's been up on the roof. I think about it all day. I have a deep love for it, the smell of the soil combination, the brilliant greens of the plants, the box it's in, the ravens, crows, hummingbirds, hawk, flies, and smaller insects that all seem to be circulating above, around, and on it when I'm up there.....the Sun, Wind, Water, and Earth supporting it.....and the Spirit that moves through me, the Garden, and in-between.
This garden is teaching me more about relationships than I could've known. And while I'm pretty young (37 1/2....lol!), perhaps some of the learning is coming through age/experience. I'm seeing myself letting go of some of the urgency and hurry-up-and-get-there-already mentality that I carried with me for most of my life. I'm finding joy in the cultivation process, recognizing the need for things to work with time....cultivating the soil, letting the roots grow, not having to tamper with the plants just to feel involved in the process, to be attentive to the garden without needing it to be any other way than the way that it is.....these are just a few of the lessons from the garden these last several days.
And this garden IS a relationship.....a very intimate relationship that is filling me with so much love and fulfilment. It comes into my dreams at night, I feel it's living presence above the healing space in my apartment.
And in the process, I've felt the very strong and supportive presence of my ancestors.....who've farmed in this country, and probably the land of their home countries of origin for aeons. In particular, I recognize my Grandfather, Pat McCreary....my Mother's Father. I've felt him around me quite a bit more than usual these last few days, helping to guide my intuition around the garden...showing me his Heart more than ever through his connection to farming and cultivating. He wasn't known as an overtly affectionate man by his family, and yet from spending time with him before he left his body, in the years since, and in particular these last few days, I see and feel the PROFOUND amount of love that circulated through him. It was safer and more comfortable for him to express this love in more overt ways as a farmer than through his human relationships. We all have our own ways and learning processes, and I honor this as his. He has much to teach me about the relationship to cultivation, patience, and nature, and I look forward to learning from him.
I'm sure I'll be sharing more here as it comes!