'It's time to go deeper into the Work,' said the voice, as I was adding hot water to my morning tea just now.
In times past, sentences like those were grand pronouncements coming right out of my ego's need for more adrenaline spikes of excitement...and increasing my perceived value in the marketplace. This morning, it comes in as a form of guidance for my choices into this next leg of my walk as a man on the path.
I had a fortunate meeting on a recent work trip to NYC with the mystic Hugo Cory from the Gurdjieff tradition. A simple man (and I say that as a high high compliment), he is deeply at home with himself. One of the first questions he had for me was about my travel schedule.
"Why all of this travelling?" he said, "Don't they have people in Los Angeles?"
"You're using up a lot of your energy with all of this traveling, and avoiding yourself. Stay in one place for a while and see what that brings up. I'm not saying don't travel, just think about doing it less and see what happens."
I had immediate and visceral resistance to his suggestion. A whole family of "but's" started shrieking in my mind; all the reasons why I had to travel, must travel, should travel.
Cut to a couple of months later here in Los Angeles on a morning very similar (albeit warmer) to this one. I had the thought that two months had nearly passed since my last NYC trip with the Work, and that according to my normal schedule, I was due to make a trip.
Yet, when I checked in with it intuitively, I felt a very clear and strong encouragement to stay put...until advised otherwise. And while a part of me (the one that thinks it's protecting me by worrying) got a little nervous, it felt like true and solid guidance. My body responded with a gentle pronounced "hum".
As more time continues to pass without traveling, I'm finding myself becoming clearer and more focused on letting the Work develop and flower within, around, and through me. I had no idea, and still am gathering intel about, how much energy I was expending making the travel plans, coordinating venues and workshops, and promoting the events and sessions.
At this point, there are a handful of new healers who've gone through all four of the Healer Trainings in New York City and San Francisco (the cities I travelled to the most) actively making the Work available in those cities. I can be an active support to them, encouraging them to step up, and share the Work from here in Los Angeles. I will continue to travel, but the timeline and form that travel takes from here on out is likely to look and feel quite different.
It's time to go deeper...
The dance between running a business and being a conduit for Spirit inside of that business more often than not can feel like a high-wire act, and the training for that dance on the tight-rope is on-the-job. The wings of support for balance are Trust and Faith. The roots of support for grounding are Integrity and Impeccability. The catalyst clarity comes through Active Attunement to Truth, among other things. And that Active Attunement to Truth is what I'm being called to develop and deepen within right now.
The Attunement comes through many different channels, and none is the right, the better, or the only way. If ideas like right, better, or only, arise in my space, they're generally in sniffing distance from some sort of fear or anxiety about the future inside of a paradigm of being in this all by myself. And that whole combo is one of the hot steaming turds the ego lays on the sidewalk from time to time. If I'm not paying attention, I can walk right into it.
Attunement is how I cultivate Attention. My Attention is the only thing I really own, so-to-speak. It's the one thing I seem to have choice around, and the more I exercise that choice in positive, uplifting ways, the stronger the muscles get for choosing Freedom.
Spending more time at home, here in Los Angeles is giving me a tremendous amount of space in my awareness. It's giving me time to cultivate other aspects of my life as expressions of the Work, expressions of happiness...like caring for my roof-garden, exploring past the familiar experience of how I can develop my body's strength, agility, and fitness, discovering rich new friendships, and sitting quietly in the ocean of my own breath.
The hurry seems to be unwinding out of my body, nervous system, and agenda.
I'm fascinated to wake up each day and see what the Universe is going to bring into my life. I've found myself saying more than once lately, "I bet the Universe has a far better idea of the best possible life for me than I do. If I just relax, open my breath, and pay attention with an open Heart, everything I need comes to me."
I still set intentions. I still take action. Along the way, I'm remembering, and taking more time to check in, slow down internally, invoke gratitude for all the elements behind bringing things my way (like everything/everyone it takes to get a salad from seeds to growth to my bowl, for example), and above all else, to keep connecting ever deeper with Self-Love.
Oh, and if for some reason this sounds like easin' on down the yellow brick road, there are times when it does feel that way, and there are plenty of moments where it feels like the high-wire act has been raised even higher into the air. And these moments are the ones where I'm letting myself get excited rather than go into a white-knuckle grip on life for some illusionary sense of control.
It's time to go deeper into the Work